Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

If the try to disown me, I could be all, "lol jk april fools lol"



Good idea, or bad idea?

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

They already know. You're not subtle.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Yeah they've....asked before lol. I denied everything.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Toph... do you love me?

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Yes with all of my heart!

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Let me get this straight:

Are your parents conservative?

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Um kind of. They're registered as republican. And racist. And pretty homophobic/transphobic/poor-phobic.

So yeah....but they have said that if I was "gay" they would still love me. Problem is I'm only 27% gay. The rest is....queer as all hell

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

If you depend on them for something, then the gamble seems foolish. And if you don't, you may as well tell them to go fuck themselves if they decide it's a sticking point.

Or at least, so goes the Nem playbook. YMMV =p

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Yeah, that's my thinking too. I'll wait at least until the title of the car is in my name. After that if the decide to screw me there isn't much they can really do.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

*Hugs*

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Cutting ties with your parents is not a good road to take.

Even if you're out of their house, you're still gonna need them for more than a roof over your head. Being gay, you might never get the right to raise children, but there are other things their support and advice will help you with.

But from what you've said, they do seem to care even if you didn't turn out exactly as they expected.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

That's an intensely personal position. Some people's parents are good sources of advice, other people's parents are worthless, or actively detrimental in that regard.

It's not exactly uncommon for parents to have got to their mid twenties, had kids, and then done one year twenty times. Gone to work, rotted in front of the TV while the schools raised their kids. Technically they're in their mid forties, and you'd expect them to know a lot and be great sources of advice - practically they're twenty six.

There's a wide distribution out there.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Consertvative, white, upper-middle class well-off parents, who

Doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with them. They even have a liberal view in the sense that they want what's best for their son, even if his life "choice" is not in line with their traditional values.

Sounds like pretty decent parents to me.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Oh god. I feel like there is a serious lack of knowledge when it comes to conservatism and liberalism, in this thread.

The [current] Republican party hijacked the word conservative and turned it into something very ugly. Conservative is not a synonym for anti-gay, pro-hate, anti-choice, pro-white, anti-minority, pro-corporation. It's a way of thinking which is actually good for a nation, it keeps progress in check (just as progress keeps conservatism in check) and make sure the country moves along at a steady pace. At least, that's what should be going on. Progressive politicians and conservative politicians are practically extinct in America right now.

I ONLY MAKE A SERIOUS POST BECAUSE THIS IS A SERIOUS THREAD.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Maybe yes, maybe no.

My father claimed to love my sister and I, and I know that he also discussed, with my mother, putting my sister into care when she was misbehaving.

'Love' is one of those things like 'I bet you a million pounds,' it's easy enough to say. But if you want to make things interesting you have to start asking more specific questions - like forget a million, what about £10? Forget love, what about respect, what about happy memories together, what about things you've learned from them, what about activities and interests you share, what about - heck - just feeling safe around them?

Neither of us know them, Biiv. Neither of us live with them, nor have grown up as their son or daughter.

Maybe they're great parents, maybe they're not. I'm not saying either way. I'm just saying it's a bit harsh to judge what someone might do with respect to what is largely an unknown if they get hurt badly enough.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Like Kyle said, it gets complicated. I've had friends who came out to seemingly accepting parents, only to be rejected. Conversely, I've had friends come out to parents who said horrible things all the time, until it was their *own* kids. It's a bit murky.


AND I'M FAR, FAR WORSE THAN GAY.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Lying about your identity doesn't seem like a healthy thing to do in the long term. And if they are conservative (religious?) I wouldn't count on some of the above advice (i.e. "lie to them for economic benefits") to help matters once they find out.

But you probably know your parents best, so just do what you have to do.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I'd *prefer* to be honest with them. But I'm a bit financially vulnerable for the next 6 months. Graduating school = no mo aid, and I haven't found a job yet, so I'll have to rely on them until I do.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

That sucks. I hope they'll accept you for who you are when you eventually tell them.

I guess if you can't tell them right now there is always the perspective that your sexual life isn't anyone's business, so there isn't really an obligation to come out.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Thanks :)

You're right, it's just blah having to hide

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I still cling firmly to the belief that most sexualities are a mental disorder we have yet to find treatment for.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I cling to the belief that Spamming Forum is a mental disorder that there will never be a treatment for.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

A serious thread, in Spamming Forum... This is April Fool's indeed. Bass Aakwards...

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Actually it's, "for which there will never be a treatment."

You have been warned!

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb2..._Icon_Text.svg

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Wait...are you really gay?

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I cling to the belief that Spamming Forum is a mental disorder that should never be treated.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Buy new parents.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Lol I'm bi, for the record. We can still be married <3


This is best plan

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Soliquidis Bosselot

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Should I point out your mistake, or let it slide?

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

:giggle:

Alas the day has ended, and I did not do it. But I still want to. Both for aforementioned reasons, and for reasons to do with health insurance

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Protip: Not using prepositions at the end of a sentence is not an official rule of the English language.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I'm sorry. I can't be married to a man with gay tendencies.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Then you're in luck

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Then in fuck.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

:naughty:

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Since there are in practice only two parties in the US, people will adapt to the party image instead of their own ideas or the party's actual politics.


Fine. You're right, we can't know. We only have two sentences to go by. It's his decision and only he can know. But if his parents are worth a damn, he shouldn't have such a dismissive attitude towards them.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

That's stupid. Science has proven that heterosexuality doesn't even exist. Everyone is actually fully transsexual or bisexual at the very least, there should be treatment for heterosexual males so they become women and more sensible.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Straight people are so weird....

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Yet he does. Regardless of how good or bad his parents are, you don't get to choose how you feel. To a certain extent you get to choose how you react to how you feel, but not all copping strategies are even capable of being run by each person. Some people get so angry that the best thing they can do is walk away before they hit something.

Some of us react to fear by thinking - well, if the worst that's reasonably likely happens, then...

Some of us react to fear by seeking people we trust to talk to about the issue.

Some of us react to fear by running away.

Some of us react to fear by fighting.

How we react, how we're able to react, to that sort of thing depends on how we've been raised. What experiences we've had, what sort of relationships we've had.

You may be thinking that he wouldn't have such a dismissive attitude if his parents actually loved him - entering as an assumption that they do, and then saying that he shouldn't have it. But you can work that in reverse, he does have the attitude, thus his parents were cruddy.

And it would be just as iffy in reverse as it is forwards. It's missing the other half of the equation.

Being gay, or bi, or whatever - and coming out - is by all accounts a scary thing. Coming out about that to parents who have professed anti-whatever politics is bound to result in a certain amount of fear. Coming out to parents who haven't expressed an opinion on those issues is bound to result in a certain amount of fear.

And yet, the decision to do it anyway. To have that trust, to value the relationship enough to want that acceptance.

Maybe his parents do deserve better, maybe they don't. But it is what it is, we are what we are - and we can't simply choose to be otherwise. It's not clear that, lacking that strong relationship, we even would choose to be otherwise if it were possible to just flick a switch and trust people. The decision to trust would require trust enough to make that decision in the first place.

So, instead, we have to build towards it - based on lesser trusts that our current trusts will bear the weight of.

People are frickin' complex. We can't see into someone else's soul and judge how they feel and how they choose, or are capable, of coping with those feelings.

If you're interested in granting people the benefit of the doubt, then it seems to me that people struggle through life as best they can. When someone's trying to seek acceptance and honesty, it's basically all that can reasonably be asked of them. If they feel insecure enough about something that they want a backup plan, I don't see how that's wrong - that's just how they deal. Maybe later on they won't feel the need for that.

It would be nice if they didn't need that, sure. But I think most of us who deal in that way also agree that it would be nice if we didn't need that. This sort of honesty is, to a certain extent, an attempt to have a stronger relationship after all.

People try, it still stuns me that they do sometimes :)

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

We are some odd critters, that much is for sure.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

The parties do not represent the interests of the people though. When something like 85% of a nation can agree that firearms need background checks - but nothing happens - you're fucked.

It's like "The Party" from 1984 (I hate this analogy), but the parties represent the people in label only, they're an entirely different monster than what they want to be. Democrats can call themselves progressives; Republicans can call themselves conservatives. They aren't.

Too much propaganda, it's why you've got conservatives voting Republican, and progressives voting Democrat. They vote on labels and lies.

Those people aren't nearly as damaging to the nation as those who say "I don't vote because it's pointless" though, but I won't get started there. =p

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Well, while you're getting all political, do you have a solution?

One of my greatest pet peeves is when someone gets political but doesn't offer a solution. Creating new parties isn't really an option because they don't every attain a higher office. The reason the Tea Party is even in office is because they keep insisting they're the "true Republicans." In other words, the only way a new party gains acceptance is to pretend to be some other group.

Personally, I have decided that politics is a waste of time. Everyone is better off organizing at the community level, and working together to make their own communities better. Trusting state or federal level politicians to help you is a waste of time, especially since the vast majority (maybe even all) of them are only interested in their own political and financial security.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

What do you mean?

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I suspect that is what nature has in store for the future.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I'M SO SNEAK

If I tell them a tale about a friend who came out who's parents reacted not so well, then I can gauge their reaction to me by what they say about it. If they're like "fok ur frind" then I won't tell them. If they're like "wow ur frind so bbrave" then I can tell them!

in the words of Robbaz, I am a yenious!

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

:fap: