Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Cutting ties with your parents is not a good road to take.

Even if you're out of their house, you're still gonna need them for more than a roof over your head. Being gay, you might never get the right to raise children, but there are other things their support and advice will help you with.

But from what you've said, they do seem to care even if you didn't turn out exactly as they expected.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

That's an intensely personal position. Some people's parents are good sources of advice, other people's parents are worthless, or actively detrimental in that regard.

It's not exactly uncommon for parents to have got to their mid twenties, had kids, and then done one year twenty times. Gone to work, rotted in front of the TV while the schools raised their kids. Technically they're in their mid forties, and you'd expect them to know a lot and be great sources of advice - practically they're twenty six.

There's a wide distribution out there.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Consertvative, white, upper-middle class well-off parents, who

Doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with them. They even have a liberal view in the sense that they want what's best for their son, even if his life "choice" is not in line with their traditional values.

Sounds like pretty decent parents to me.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Oh god. I feel like there is a serious lack of knowledge when it comes to conservatism and liberalism, in this thread.

The [current] Republican party hijacked the word conservative and turned it into something very ugly. Conservative is not a synonym for anti-gay, pro-hate, anti-choice, pro-white, anti-minority, pro-corporation. It's a way of thinking which is actually good for a nation, it keeps progress in check (just as progress keeps conservatism in check) and make sure the country moves along at a steady pace. At least, that's what should be going on. Progressive politicians and conservative politicians are practically extinct in America right now.

I ONLY MAKE A SERIOUS POST BECAUSE THIS IS A SERIOUS THREAD.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Maybe yes, maybe no.

My father claimed to love my sister and I, and I know that he also discussed, with my mother, putting my sister into care when she was misbehaving.

'Love' is one of those things like 'I bet you a million pounds,' it's easy enough to say. But if you want to make things interesting you have to start asking more specific questions - like forget a million, what about £10? Forget love, what about respect, what about happy memories together, what about things you've learned from them, what about activities and interests you share, what about - heck - just feeling safe around them?

Neither of us know them, Biiv. Neither of us live with them, nor have grown up as their son or daughter.

Maybe they're great parents, maybe they're not. I'm not saying either way. I'm just saying it's a bit harsh to judge what someone might do with respect to what is largely an unknown if they get hurt badly enough.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Like Kyle said, it gets complicated. I've had friends who came out to seemingly accepting parents, only to be rejected. Conversely, I've had friends come out to parents who said horrible things all the time, until it was their *own* kids. It's a bit murky.


AND I'M FAR, FAR WORSE THAN GAY.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Lying about your identity doesn't seem like a healthy thing to do in the long term. And if they are conservative (religious?) I wouldn't count on some of the above advice (i.e. "lie to them for economic benefits") to help matters once they find out.

But you probably know your parents best, so just do what you have to do.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

I'd *prefer* to be honest with them. But I'm a bit financially vulnerable for the next 6 months. Graduating school = no mo aid, and I haven't found a job yet, so I'll have to rely on them until I do.

Re: Coming out to parents on April Fools day
 

That sucks. I hope they'll accept you for who you are when you eventually tell them.

I guess if you can't tell them right now there is always the perspective that your sexual life isn't anyone's business, so there isn't really an obligation to come out.