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Toph June 22nd, 2013 11:17 AM

How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
The poll is anonymous(ish, can mods still see who voted what?), but feel free to divulge in your post. I'm sure we're all curious.


Thread inspired by Mr. Matt

FileTrekker June 22nd, 2013 11:26 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Why is there no over 9000 option?

Schofield June 22nd, 2013 02:17 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Once when I wake up and once before I go to sleep. Depending on my boredom I may do it more times in a day. So at least 14; 7 days.

Mr. Matt June 22nd, 2013 02:22 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Toph (Post 5703363)
The poll is anonymous(ish, can mods still see who voted what?), but feel free to divulge in your post. I'm sure we're all curious.


Thread inspired by Mr. Matt

I'm flattered. I think.

Adrian Ţepeş June 22nd, 2013 02:59 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FileTrekker (Post 5703364)
Why is there no over 9000 option?

8 or more, duh :rolleyes:

Schofield June 22nd, 2013 03:25 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FileTrekker (Post 5703364)
Why is there no over 9000 option?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adrian Ţepeş (Post 5703374)
8 or more, duh :rolleyes:

yeah filetrekker dumbas

Silberio June 22nd, 2013 03:53 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
None, I get pussy, like real Marines do.

Spoiler:
On to the truth:

3 times

Spoiler:
a-fucking-day

Mr. Matt June 22nd, 2013 04:02 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Not really a fucking day if you're masturbating, is it?

Silberio June 22nd, 2013 04:46 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Please, don't tell the rest of the guys :bawl:

Red Menace June 22nd, 2013 05:03 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
The fact I never really stop working one out made this poll difficult.


Now I have an option that reflects my habits.

Authuran June 22nd, 2013 07:54 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Is it possible to masturbate negative times a week?

Toph June 22nd, 2013 09:51 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Some may think it's "gross", but I am fucking impressed by people who rub more than one out a day. That's some seriously penile fortitude. I myself manage every other day, though sometimes go 2 days without. Rarely 5 days, but then I do it like 3 days in a row to make up for it. Oh fapping, you mysterious mistress.



I once went 36 days without. There were extenuating circumcisions. Like having zero privacy for 6 weeks.

redgroupclan June 22nd, 2013 11:21 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Circumcisions? Is that the trip where you left us all alone for so long?

Toph June 22nd, 2013 11:57 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Yeah.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT GAIS CODE RED CODE RED, HOLY SHIT TESTICLES!!!!!!!!!

EDIT: pls excuse my outburst. See new spam thread for further information.

Silberio June 23rd, 2013 12:58 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Authuran (Post 5703401)
Is it possible to masturbate negative times a week?

Yeah, but it counts as handjobs instead.

Mr. Matt June 23rd, 2013 03:16 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Authuran (Post 5703401)
Is it possible to masturbate negative times a week?

Yes, but it involves injecting spunk back into your Jolly Roger

Silberio June 23rd, 2013 04:18 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Oh... Gods.

Authuran June 23rd, 2013 12:29 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Toph (Post 5703408)
Some may think it's "gross", but I am fucking impressed by people who rub more than one out a day. That's some seriously penile fortitude. I myself manage every other day, though sometimes go 2 days without. Rarely 5 days, but then I do it like 3 days in a row to make up for it. Oh fapping, you mysterious mistress.



I once went 36 days without. There were extenuating circumcisions. Like having zero privacy for 6 weeks.

The last part is bullcrap. Any dude with balls blue enough will find a way to rub it out. The great part is that the amount of time you don't jerk off correlates directly opposite to the time that it takes to reach climax. Or something like that.

Toph June 23rd, 2013 12:37 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
I just don't care that much about it I guess. Wasn't worth the risk.

Silberio June 23rd, 2013 02:15 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Authuran, he's asexual.

Schofield June 23rd, 2013 02:22 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Authuran (Post 5703466)
The great part is that the amount of time you don't jerk off correlates directly opposite to the time that it takes to reach climax. Or something like that.

wat

Mr. Matt June 23rd, 2013 02:39 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Schofield (Post 5703477)
wat

The longer you go without getting laid, the less time you'll last when you finally do.

Toph June 23rd, 2013 03:33 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
OI! Who added infinity!

MOD ABUSE! MOD ABUSE! MOD ABUSE!

Authuran June 23rd, 2013 03:36 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Einherjar Silberio (Post 5703473)
Authuran, he's asexual.

A sexual what?

Toph June 23rd, 2013 04:11 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
I think getting a splinter in my hand is a more exciting prospect than sex. It's fun to watch it heal. Though, some asexuals masturbate furiously.

Schofield June 23rd, 2013 04:33 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Matt (Post 5703482)
The longer you go without getting laid, the less time you'll last when you finally do.

I lasted roughly 20 minutes my first time so I don't think that's correct.

Red Menace June 23rd, 2013 05:33 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Talk about premature ejaculation.

Toph June 23rd, 2013 07:08 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
20 minutes? Fucking hell. I once made out for 40 minutes. I was starting to contemplate jumping out the window (just a 2 foot fall, but still)

Authuran June 23rd, 2013 08:54 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Schofield (Post 5703493)
I lasted roughly 20 minutes my first time so I don't think that's correct.

The amount of time since the last time you had an orgasm is invertedly proportional to the amount of time it takes to reach orgasm, in a healthy normal adult human male. Barring factors like depression, attractiveness of female, size of penis, etc.

Toph June 23rd, 2013 08:58 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
He does have a pretty big dick


OH MY GOD SCHOFIELD. REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME?!!?!

Primarch Vulkan June 24th, 2013 02:01 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
http://1d4chan.org/images/2/20/DAYUM.gif

mmmm goopy jizz

Schofield June 24th, 2013 01:12 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Authuran (Post 5703504)
The amount of time since the last time you had an orgasm is invertedly proportional to the amount of time it takes to reach orgasm, in a healthy normal adult human male. Barring factors like depression, attractiveness of female, size of penis, etc.

I masturbated and achieved orgasm that same morning.

Silberio June 24th, 2013 04:07 PM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
enrd u fink sumwon gibs fok

kunrich June 25th, 2013 03:49 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
So Obank.. Why do YOU want to know this? :O

Silberio June 25th, 2013 07:22 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
He has a fetish for counting masturbation statistics.

Toph June 25th, 2013 07:24 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
It's true! Oh god it's so true! I jack off to math!!! :bawl:

Silberio June 25th, 2013 07:42 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
I swear, some guys at my school seem to have math and science fetish. Fucking nerds.

Schofield June 25th, 2013 08:06 AM

Re: How many times a week do you masturbate?
 
lel Topf


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