I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me
It's almost Halloween! This is a time for scariness and parties, and maybe eating too much candy. Unfortunately, it's also a time when I'm likely to be busy! This means that today's Daily Syndrome is quickly written, which hopefully doesn't detract from its quality. It will most likely be shorter though, as I only have a very limited time to write the whole thing, around 50 minutes.
I am writing this while dressed as a banana. It's a home made costume, made from a t-shirt and a cup predominantly, with a few extra accessories to make it look better. I believe that the height of my home made hat will enhance my writing power so that I can write even more genius into the sentences contained within this newspaper, the most successful on the planet so far.
As usual with the Daily Syndrome, you can join the
Group, where you can find hundreds of posts (one) detailing how to become world famous. It also has a nice logo, so if that's something you like then I'd recommend it. You could even end up with your own article featured in a forthcoming issue! So, I suggest you get into there and put your fingers all over my join button. If anyone is interested in writing an article for tomorrow's issue, then a good topic would be scary things, to fit with the Halloween theme.
Don't Live It Little
Recently I have written about how the world is too unhappy in general. I stand by what I said, although this article isn't quite related to that. Well, it's similar, but an entirely different concept. The public version of Audience Participation. Also known as Making A Fool Of Your Self to people who don't do enough of it, and Having Fun to everyone else.
Halloween is a time for this sort of thing, when a large number of people dress in strange things and have fun. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who don't. When life hands you lemons, dress up as them and parade around like a nonce. That's what happened when life handed me a banana.
So come on, world, dress like a fool and have a very happy Easter! Or Halloween or something like that. I dress like a fool daily so the actual events take me by surprise.
Electric Eel
Cows are weird. The stand around all day chewing, then they leak white all over the place. So, it's a mystery why they are so tasty. But aside from them being tasty, they could be even more useful. Even more useful than letting us drink from them, even.
Cows chew all the time. This means that they use a fair amount of energy simply moving their jaw. So, in an attempt to yet again make the world better for everyone in it, I have yet again invented something. Exactly what this thing is... I still need to decide. I haven't worked it out yet. But I know that it's going to be something that will attach to the jaw of the cow and allow electricity to be generated by cow mastication.
And it doesn't stop there. Every animal could potentially wear one! The energy produced wouldn't exactly solve all world problems, but it would be nice to be able to power my house for free. And the animal electricity generation ideas don't stop there. I've had hundreds, being the innovative person that I am.
Turbines on the sides of fish is just one other. Training racing dogs by using weighted treadmills. Burning pandas. All of these are options for getting power to fuel the international human machine.
And I want a cut if any of these get done.
And that concludes today's issue! You can help the Daily Syndrome by getting involved with a guest article, or just a few words that you want to be included. The details on how to take part are over at the
Group page. Or, of course, you could head over to the
FileFront Forums Tinychat room where I'm often sitting talking about ridiculous things.
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