May 25th, 2009
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| Burn the Xeno
Join Date: March 15th, 2004 Location: Nocturne Status: Vulkan Lives! Rep Power: 33 |  R. Lee Ermey/facts
- R. Lee Ermey trained Chuck Norris in the Marines. Ermey claims that Norris was a crybaby wimp who peed in his pants at the first sign of danger until he trained Norris into becoming a tough man and a martial arts champion.
- Ermey once took John Cena a 98 pound weakling and trained him to become a hardcore Professional Wrestler and Rapper and movie actor for the movie "The Marine". Ermey gave Cena real Marine training in order to get him ready for his career, unfortunately, he couldn't teach Cena to act.
- Ermey put Oprah on a crash course diet in order to get her to lose weight. Oprah would keep going off the diet and kept gaining weight until Ermey cussed her out into getting back into shape. Ermey does the same for other stars who have weight issue problems like Private Pyle had.
- Ermey was sent by George W. Bush to get Libya to sign a peace deal with the USA. Ermey called Omar Qaddafi a "cross-dressing flight attendant" because of the way he looks, and ordered him to do 1000 push-ups and said that Qaddafi was "a disgrace to totalitarian dictators". Qaddafi got tired of Ermey and Ermey said if Qaddafi didn't sign the agreement that he'd be back to take over Libya with the Marines. Qaddafi signed the agreement and now the USA doesn't have to invade Libya for its oil.
- Ermey is currently planning to hunt and kill the eight year old who wrote these facts about him.
- The reason why a UFO appeared over Chicago recently is that the aliens are studying Sgt. Ermey. They plan to take him to train their piece of shit security forces. He turned them down, citing that our military has turned to shit, and he is the only one able to stop that shit.
- R. Lee Ermey has trained Jimbo Wales.
- When he shits,pisses, the toilets say, YES SIR!
- When he masturbates, new kittens are created, when he ejaculates. QUIT HUFFING KITTENS! Everytime you huff kittens, R. Lee Ermey gets a blowjob!!!!
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