The Rules of Flying

***Afterburner*** · April 29th, 2007

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull it back they get smaller, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, in which case they get larger again.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
It is always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire.
The propeller is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can watch the pilot start to sweat.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
A "good" landing is one from which you can walk away. A "great" landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to your parking spot.
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability or survival, and vice versa.
Never let your aircraft take you anywhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone talks about just might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
Always try to keep the number of landings you made equal to the number of takeoffs you've made.
There are three simple rules for a silky smooth landing. Unfortunately, nobody knows what they are.
You start out with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the latter before you empty the former.
Helicopters cannot fly. They are so ugly that the earth repels them.
If all you can see out the window is ground going around and around, and all you can hear is commotion from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
In the ongoing battle between man-made objects traveling through the air at hundreds of miles an hour and the ground moving at zero miles an hour, the ground has yet to lose.
Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgement.
It is always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward whenever possible.
Keep looking around. There is always something you missed.
Remember, gravity isn't just a good idea, it is the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
The three most useless things for a pilot are runway behind you, altitude above you, and a tenth of a second ago.
If, at your retirement ceremony, the chief pilot says "I don't believe I know that pilot," you have obviously followed rules 1 through 24.