I am a winner
 

Re: I am a winner
 

Obviously. No-one would bother coming up with as lame a lie as that.

Re: I am a winner
 

yay.

Re: I am a winner
 

:hump:

Re: I am a winner
 

Avast, ye.

Re: I am a winner
 

no biggues gets that for his AzH=me thing:wtf:

Re: I am a winner
 

Sometimes, if you stand on something, it makes a crunching noise.

Re: I am a winner
 

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Re: I am a winner
 

For heaven's sake man, how did that happen? What in hell have you been feeding it on? Also, stop going so close to your cat's mouth.

Re: I am a winner
 

I think I have already answered that question, Chiefy. See here:

http://www.gamingforums.com/images/smilies/pwned.gif

Re: I am a winner
 

I think you'll find a stench under your pillow.

http://www.gamingforums.com/images/smilies/pwned.gif

Re: I am a winner
 

Yes, of a rotting haddok. I keep it there. I like to lick it during the night.

Re: I am a winner
 

I prefer kippers myself, and I keep it under the bed so I don't feel a lump under my pillow.

Still, each to his own.

Re: I am a winner
 

I tried kippers, but they stung my eyes.

Re: I am a winner
 

Yes, well it does help if they're dead.

If you like them alive, try sedating them. No more sticky tail-whacks in the face now. Some people like that though. Wiggly-waggly kippers.

Re: I am a winner
 

Have you ever tried Sardine? Once you get used to the brine smell they are wonderful.

Re: I am a winner
 

I must admit I haven't, I'll give it a whizz when this one disintegrates, but there's a good few months left in old Betsy yet.

I find the leathery texture of tuna chunks very evocative.

Re: I am a winner
 

ponies.

Re: I am a winner
 

Yes I only just got Maisy from a seaman. She will last a few months, or until I accidentally fry her and have her for breakfast.

Re: I am a winner
 

Well, as they say, never row boats into old men.

Re: I am a winner
 

possibly the smartest post in the whole thread.

Re: I am a winner
 

Or small carpet monsters of the Sahara veriety.

Re: I am a winner
 

OoooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooo. I've always wanted to see one of them, ever since the Hat Incident of '48.

Re: I am a winner
 

I thought it was the Mildly-Brown-coloured-turban incedent of '64 where you saw one...

Re: I am a winner
 

That's just amazing. You must have been one of the two people apart from me involved in this incident. Oh, the memories.

Coincidentally, cups take time to brew.

Re: I am a winner
 

Yes, which, alas, means I am going to have to go and make some, and leave the spamming session for 5 minutes. *Sob*

Re: I am a winner
 

I like to make tortoises climb small obstacle courses. Once, I got one to leap over a turd.

Re: I am a winner
 

You should sell the act to a cheapy circus. They lap up that sort of b/s.

Re: I am a winner
 

I run a small chain of cheapy circuses.

We're called "The Small Chain of Circuses, We Write Letters With Aplomb".

Please come and see one of our shows, only two people turned up at the last one, and they don't count because they fell out a plane and landed in the tent. I need money for my Kiwis.

Re: I am a winner
 

How much are the tickets?

Re: I am a winner
 

10 quality Kiwis. The quality is to be judged my moi and my Kiwi lieutenant, Doris.

Re: I am a winner
 

Ok I teleporting them to you now. I trust my tickets will arrive soon?

Re: I am a winner
 

Well, they should, but I need to cut them out first. Give me a while, I just severed an artery.

Re: I am a winner
 

Squeeze kiwi juice into the wound. It helps.

Re: I am a winner
 

It does indeed. After consultation of the "How to Improve Your Health Using the Kiwis" book, I have concocted an appropriate mix of both Kiwi juice and zest of Kiwi. It's so cool and refreshing, I may just drink it instead.

Re: I am a winner
 

Ohhh... send me some!

Re: I am a winner
 

I'm thinking of starting a mixing-unit and bottling the stuff to be sold as "Teh Kiwi Water - With Added Kiwi - No Maple Syrup Here". I'll send you the first bottle.

Re: I am a winner
 

Are you offering shares in the industry?

Re: I am a winner
 

Almost certainly. I intend to lead the market in Kiwi Water from the very beginning, and pwn Microsoft when it comes to Kiwi-compatible Operating Systems.

Re: I am a winner
 

Oooh! Are you a member of the FTSE 500 yet? I must snap up your shares while they are cheap...