The Longest Thread Ever!

[lmhr05]

[MG42Maniac]

Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark. Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!

The queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top speed would never get them there in time.

At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling ....... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.

On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup. But I see that the England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries."

She knighted them and sailed away.

As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!" "That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and knows everything about our country."

"Well," Rooney replied, "she knows **** all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up ?"

[MG42Maniac]

Beckham, Rooney and Ronaldo were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.
The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia,
so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers,
they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

Beckham was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.
Beckham had to be carried away bleeding and crying for his mummy with pain when the punishment was done.
Ronaldo was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my flowery dress"
But even two pillows & 1 flowery dress could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

Rooney was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but
before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city of Liverpool has some of the best bars, nightclubs and restaurants in Europe, your city and your football team Man Utd are known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Cheers la, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", Rooney replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave."
The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.




"Please tie Ronaldo to my back."

[M!tch]

|_|

[unholywar]

i like tuna

[Dragokatzov]

turkey

[darkclone]

chicken

[Copperbelt Jack]

Eagle

[Videoslave]

I'm gona make it hard to live

[unholywar]

i see longer threads