Make divorce illegal?

[Cheese!]

I think the problem is most people take marriage too lightly and get married when they really shouldn't. The most common reason for divorce is infidelity. And why is that? Because one of them they misunderstood the term "until death do you part". They decided, "Oh, maybe this person isn't the best for me." And so as a result they either cheat on their spouse, don't care for them, don't provide for the family or (and in doing so) get a divorce.

When you get married, you are basically stating to your spouse this: "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

It really comes down to responsibility. If they can't handle the responsibility of the marriage then they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. And frankly it shouldn't be up to the state to decide if you can get married or not. It's up to the individuals. They need to figure out if they are responsible enough for the marriage and to keep their vows, or otherwise just not get married.

[Nemmerle]

Most murderers grew up in a complicated web of social relationships people like to reduce to binary variables in order to make themselves feel better.

Originally Posted by thecheeseman

It really comes down to responsibility. If they can't handle the responsibility of the marriage then they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. And frankly it shouldn't be up to the state to decide if you can get married or not. It's up to the individuals. They need to figure out if they are responsible enough for the marriage and to keep their vows, or otherwise just not get married.

Why? This concept of responsibility seems to be doing a lot of work for you here but it's not clear what you mean by it. If I stab someone in the eye I'm responsible for it, if I get a divorce I'm responsible for that - it's a natural condition but it's not clear in what sense it implies a duty to do as you've wished them to.

[Sadim-Al-Bouncer]

I know the effects of divorce, for I grew up with divorced parents. Lived with mom, saw Dad every few years.
Illegal divorce won't help, ever.

[Admiral Donutz]

Making devorce illegal wouldn't work at all, people could still split up and go there seperate ways. Unless you would enforce the law by having some departing like the secret service monitor if these people are living in the same house, sharing the same bed and such. Nevermind people going nuts and possible hostilities increasing and the various consequences that this could have.

Should people be encouraged to seek counceling when applying for a devorce? Sure, but I'd guess most people figured that out for themselves.

[Mephistopheles]

Originally Posted by Mr.Bouncer

I know the effects of divorce, for I grew up with divorced parents. Lived with mom, saw Dad every few years.
Illegal divorce won't help, ever.

I envy you. My parents never divorced.

[Nemmerle]

Originally Posted by Admiral Donutz

Should people be encouraged to seek counceling when applying for a devorce? Sure, but I'd guess most people figured that out for themselves.

Counselling is a kind of quaint witchdoctor crap as far as most people I’ve met seem to be concerned. Psychologists and therapists are about as well trusted as plague rats.

[NiteStryker]

Originally Posted by Stratopwn3r

If you have the right to marry, you should have the right to terminate it too.

No. You take a vow saying "till death do you part". So really, from a non-religious standpoint, you should only get 1 shot. Otherwise its not really "marriage". You get 1 marriage, and you get 1 divorce, and after that you shouldnt be allowed to get married.

People treat marriage nowadays as another step in dating. I got married when I was 19 and Im a few days short of 22, still happily married. I know people that got married when I did, and are divorced with kids already. Im like "really? Wtf is wrong with you?".

Me and my wife already agreed, no kids before 27.

But I think its bullcrap that some people getting married 2, 3, 4 times.

[Mr. Pedantic]

No. You take a vow saying "till death do you part".

A lot of marriages don't take the traditional vows. In any case, people can make mistakes, can't they?

So really, from a non-religious standpoint, you should only get 1 shot. Otherwise its not really "marriage". You get 1 marriage, and you get 1 divorce, and after that you shouldnt be allowed to get married.

Ah. So divorce shouldn't be illegal then?

People treat marriage nowadays as another step in dating. I got married when I was 19 and Im a few days short of 22, still happily married. I know people that got married when I did, and are divorced with kids already. Im like "really? Wtf is wrong with you?".

3 whole years...such a long time...

But I think its bullcrap that some people getting married 2, 3, 4 times.

That is their choice.

[Cheese!]

Originally Posted by Nemmerle

Why? This concept of responsibility seems to be doing a lot of work for you here but it's not clear what you mean by it. If I stab someone in the eye I'm responsible for it, if I get a divorce I'm responsible for that - it's a natural condition but it's not clear in what sense it implies a duty to do as you've wished them to.

It's both spouses responsibility to maintain the vows they took, no? Or does "till death do you part" really mean "until I decided I don't want you anymore".

Wikipedia says that infidelity is "...a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined. In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature." To me, this says that it's the responsibility of a married person to be faithful to their spouse.

[Nemmerle]

Originally Posted by thecheeseman

It's both spouses responsibility to maintain the vows they took, no? Or does "till death do you part" really mean "until I decided I don't want you anymore".

No and yes. In the case of the second marriage is a ritual, a symbol that stands in for a social relationships; and nowadays, since you're aware of the possibility of divorce, you know full well that until death do us part means nothing of the sort. In the case of the former even if the latter was not true a person doesn't seem to be under an unlimited obligation to keep their word.

Originally Posted by thecheeseman

Wikipedia says that infidelity is "...a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined.

If they're breached they're not mutually agreed upon, and for all you know the mutually agreed upon rules at that point oblidge them to divorce anyway.

Originally Posted by thecheeseman

In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature." To me, this says that it's the responsibility of a married person to be faithful to their spouse.

To me it just says you think of divorce as a breach of faith; even if this were true, which of itself it may not be, it doesn't say that it's wrong. Faith doesn't exactly come with a lot of positive connotations.