General 'Black Jack' Pershing vs. Muslim Terrorists

[NiteStryker]

Epic. Win.

A True story about General "Black Jack" Pershing.

Born September 13th, 1860 near Laclede, Mississippi
Died July 15th, 1948 in Washington, D.C.
1891 Professor of Military Science and Tactics University of Nebraska
1898 Serves in the Spanish-American War
1901 Awarded rank of Captain
1906 Promoted to rank of Brigadier General
1909 Military Governor of Moro Province, Philippines
1916 Made Major General
1919 Promoted to General of the Armies
1921 Appointed Chief of Staff
1924 Retires from active duty
Education: 4 Years-West Point

One important thing to remember is that Muslims detest pork because they believe pigs are filthy animals. Some of them simply refuse to eat it, while others won't even touch pigs at all, nor any of their by-products. To them, eating or touching a pig, its meat, its blood, etc., is to be instantly barred from paradise and doomed to hell.

Just before World War I, there were a number of terrorist attacks against the United States and it's interests by, you guessed it, Muslim extremists.

So General Pershing captured 50 of the terrorists and had them tied to posts execution style. He then had his men bring in two pigs and slaughter them in front of the, now horrified, terrorists.

The soldiers then soaked their bullets in pigs blood, and proceeded to execute 49 of the terrorists by firing squad.

The soldiers then dug a big hole, dumped in the terrorist's bodies and covered them in pig blood, entrails, etc.

They let the 50th man go. And for about the next 42 years, there was not a single attack by a muslim fanatic anywhere in the world.

SOURCE

Too bad its an urban legend, or he would have attained chuck norris-like status.

[IcePure]

I wonder if something like that would actually work nowadays, or just push extremists further?

[NiteStryker]

If you kept doing it....

oh man imagine the outcry at this type of treatment nowadays. People bitch over 3 people waterboarded.... now you use their own religion against them.

[IcePure]

Yeah, everyone's rammed so far up their own arses under the comfort of 'discrimination', 'racism' and 'political correctness', you couldn't even engage in so much as a pillow fight with extremists.

The feathers in the pillows are white, meaning you want white supremacy! Pillows are soft which means you view us as weak, discrimination! You did not gain anything related to national security through this, politically unjustified!

[LaughingCheese]

WOW, yeah too bad its urban legend.

I would like to see the reaction of the people whining about waterboarding to THIS.

MWAWHAHAHH

I wonder though if that would scare them or make them angrier? Or maybe they don't really care?

[Nemmerle]

Yes, show people who already consider your very existence a blasphemy against god further evidence of your supposedly evil nature. I'm sure that'll make them more likely to leave you alone. If we're going to give up any pretence and just go with atrocities, well once you've done that the moral highground is no-longer that much of an issue, genocide is the way to go.

[Afterburner]

Don't the Israelis pack their buses with bags of pork to keep away suicide bombers? Or is that just an urban myth as well.

[NiteStryker]

Probably an urban myth, altho I hope it is true.

We should tell the world we crop dusted the entire country with pork mist.

[Keyser_Soze]

Originally Posted by Afterburner

Don't the Israelis pack their buses with bags of pork to keep away suicide bombers? Or is that just an urban myth as well.

wouldn't make sense, seeing as how jews have similar policies on pork.

from what i've seen deterring terrorism isn't really possible. they'll die, either way, so it would hardly be a major concern. and whatever you do to one terrorist is likely to recruit several more to replace the one they lose. sad, but it's not something that can easily be done.

one ultra-right wing republican, Tom Tancredo, said that mecca should be bombed by the USA in the event of another terrorist attack, but that would probably have the opposite effect.

[NiteStryker]

Originally Posted by Keyser_Soze

one ultra-right wing republican, Tom Tancredo, said that mecca should be bombed by the USA in the event of another terrorist attack, but that would probably have the opposite effect.

Oh my god that would be hilarious. Would that essentially be destroying islam? Thats one of the 5 pillars of islam isnt it? or 2 actually...make a pilgramage to the smoldering crater and pray facing the direction of the geiger counter beep 5 times a day.

Kinda like nuking jerusulam. (i know i cant spell it for shit go cry).