Is My Dad Insane?
 

I’m highly confused. On both Christmas and my birthday (January 4th), I received £100 from my dad, giving me £200 total. I’ve got nothing against this in itself as it enables me to buy an XBox 360, but I don’t understand why he’s given it to me.

For starters, I haven’t seen him in six months. I used to visit him once a week every Sunday, but that got changed to once a fortnight because of my school and his work. He then said that if I didn’t want to go to his house a particular week, I should phone him and tell him. Two weeks pass and he doesn’t show up. Pretty much instantly, I figure out what’s happened. He thinks that he said if I did want to go to his house, I should phone him. Although my mum would be prepared to make me up on this as she also heard him, I can’t be bothered to call him and say that he’s remembering things differently because, in his mind, he’s always right. So I haven’t seen him in six months.

The last few times I saw him, I don’t think I made much of an effort to disguise the fact that I hated him. Why? He left my mum and I when I was seven and lied to my mum about it. “No, no, it’s not because of another woman,” he said. Two days later, she sees him with that bitch. I’ve got nothing against Melanie, said bitch, in her own rights, but I hate her because she was the one who took dad away. I’ve never talked to anyone about this, but I think it’s a pretty normal feeling. And then, even though he left ten years ago, without even a word to either of us, he had the balls to try to tell me how to live my life. As far as I’m concerned, he lost all right to be a parent to me the second he walked out of our house.

Last of the things I can currently remember is that, about two months ago, he split from Melanie. He sold the house they live at together and moved into his father’s house with one of his brothers, Alan. This has disgusted almost everyone in the family. Granddad hadn’t talked to dad for three years because of an incident between my dad and my great-grandmother (my granddad’s mother, I believe) over something to do with Megan, my dad’s second child with Melanie. Don’t ask me exactly what happened because I’m not too clear on the details, but something happened regarding Megan and dad went over to nan’s house and swore and yelled at her about it. Granddad found out and told dad that if he ever wanted to be welcome at his house again, he needed to apologise. Dad never did. Granddad passed away in his sleep four months ago.

So the fact that dad is now living in granddad’s house, and in his room, has caused most of the family to want no contact with him. The only two who talk to him, as far as I know, are Alan, though he doesn’t have much of a choice, and Roy, their other brother. Kim, their sister, hasn’t talked to dad or Roy since my nan’s funeral (granddad’s wife) about seven years ago because of a mix-up over who was supposed to get the flowers. Auntie Kim, to my knowledge, doesn’t seem to care that neither of them want to talk to her. On top of this, dad never told us that he had moved house or anything. I learned from hearsay from the other family members. You can see why I hate him.

So, is this money because he’s insane? Or is it a bribe for something? I’m confused and I don’t like being confused.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

uhh,what has that to do with the money?

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Huh? I was saying that it seems a bit odd that I haven't seen him for six months, I hate him, he probably knows I hate him and then gives me £200. I was also explaining why I hated him, because if I hadn't someone was bound to ask sooner or later.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Guilt, and/or he's trying to buy you back. That's the first thing to pop in to my mind after reading that story. Looks like he could use all the "allies" he can get. Maybe he thinks some cash will buy you over to his side.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well he's wrong. I'm glad for the money, but it'll take a lot more than money for me to forgive him for everything.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but here goes:

My guess is that either A, he's trying on some level to win you back with the money, as the1chaos said, or B, he's just still in the habit of giving you a gift every christmas and birthday, since you are still technically his son.

Not to try to tell you what to do or anything (you should decide for yourself what you will do, if anything, it's your family), but it is possible he has realized it was a mistake to leave you and sincerely wants to win you back. Granted, the odds are pretty slim, but it's possible.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I agree with chaos here, but even with that explanation you can look at it two ways.

1) He's giving you the money because he feels guilty and wants to bribe you back into his good graces

2) He generally is sorry for what he has done but in his view giving you money is the best way to atone for the past.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Chaos and Stalker pretty much summed it up. If he keeps giving you money, explain to him that it won't buy you back, or you could keep getting the money, and never tell him. ;)

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Maybe he still loves you?

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Why don't you honestly approach him and talk to him?

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

a third explanation would be : He gave you monies as a present, because he didnt know what else to give you?

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

That may be the simplest explanation, and the simplest explanation is usually the best, and/or the correct one.

However, why so much?

Following the trend here, Your father is on the outside looking in. His mistakes have caught up with him, and he almost had nowhere to turn.

The question remains, has your Father matured? Has he finally grown up. Will he take responsibility for his actions?

It seems like there is a lot of anger, even hate, in your family. It is not healthy.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well.. at birthdays its not unusual I get 100 quid from my parents, simply because they can afford it and stuff.

Now, If his dad was a poor ass and stuff like that I would wonder.. but I doubt he is.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

That's around $225 AUD. Shit. My folks sound like cheapskates now. =p

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

hehe only on special occations though ;) but still.. people are getting more and more money, and I know loads of people for whom it isnt rare

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Guilt or complete lack of ideas on what to get you.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

*shakes head* Uh-uh. Trust me, it would take a month to list every reason why I doubt that.

Well, whatever it is, money isn't going to do it. You can't buy trust.

Well, he hasn't contacted me since... :lol:

Again, unlikely. I've never been good enough for him. Ever. And if you can't buy my trust, you most certainly cannot buy my love.

Well, he couldn't even be bothered to tell me he'd moved house. If it hadn't been for other family members, it's a real possibility that I never would have seen him again.

As Monster_user says, why so much money?

No. No. And no. If he had finally matured, he would have apologised to my great-grandmother. He hasn't and so the rest of the family wished no contact with him.

Why? Every family has it's problems. Ours is him. Although, I sometimes have a hard time trying to stop myself punching out my grandfather's lights (mother's side). He thinks I should grow up to be a 1950's headteacher because that's what he was. Let's not get started on him though.

Well, previous years, I've recieved £80 Christmas and birthday money total. This year I got £210 (£10 from my great-grandmother).

Don't ask me. I haven't got a clue. First we heard that he'd filed for backruptcy, now we hear that it's not true. I'm confused. :confused: Judging by the cash, it's probably not true though.

Then he should have asked. Not that I had any idea myself beyond XBox 360 and books.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

He feels really, really guilty. Sounds like you and pop need a good long sit down. I hope he's man enough to do it, but it will be hard because whether he will ever admit it or not, he knows he's failed at being a good father, and he has hurt you terribly.

You need to be honest with him at how his leaving has made you feel. It might not be a bad idea to just forward him your thread starter. Good luck.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I'd say try to talk to him. He is your dad after all, the only one you'll ever have. Arrange something simple like a lunch together on a weekend to talk about things.

I know how it feels. My dad left when I was 4 but we've maintained a strong relationship. However, I still feel like he feels sorry for what happened and he is constantly trying to make me happy with him. That may be what's happening with your father. He regrets what happened and, since you are his son, he's still being your father.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Seems you're being a bit stubborn. Why not at least try?


True, but it's the only way he knows how to approach you at this point.


You sound very childish here, and a bit self-pitying. I honestly think that you're telling yourself that to avoid having to man up and call him.



Because you're his son! I don't think you understand fully the gravity of that statement and fact. A father's love knows no bounds, and he is simply trying to make you happy.


I don't even want to know what that's about.



1) the comment on your grandfather was irrelevant and attention-seeking. I'm beginning to think more and more that you're the one needing a place to let this all out (like a psychiatrist)

2) wrong. other "normal" families don't typically have issues wherein the son hates his father for reasons yet unexplained other than he left. But simply because you refuse to make well with him suggests that you're afraid to do so, and is added to by the fact that you are too willing to change the subject to some other family member instead.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

The unexplained hate is what struck me the most in all this. Call me blunt but I think you don't even know what to think of your father. Most likely you'r mom was walking around complaining about her relationship with him, and you absorbed it all. You don't have a good reason to actually hate him, you have your mom's reasons. Think about it, and think about what he did to hurt you individually. I understand that your mother's pain has hurt you too, but remeber, he has nothing against you.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well I don't really know... maybe he does love you after all. Did you ever hear his take on it all? I don't know about you, but as you seemingly refer to your mother for your info about him and his reasons for leaving you it really gives a one sided opinion... yet again you do have your own reasons.

But as others have suggested, I suggest that you go and talk to him, to clear things up once and for all.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I don't have a clue how he'd react to that.

Pity.

So did we... at first. But as I grew older, he started to berate me for almost every single piece of knowledge I didn't know. And it just... well... oh, I don't know anymore.

How? I'm only stating a fact.

Maybe with good fathers. If he was so great, why didn't he try to stay with my mum and I for my sake? Or with the other woman for the sake of their two children? Other families do it quite often. Why couldn't he?

No, that was relevant. *scrolls up* Well, it seemed relevant when I posted it. And what am I? American? People don't need therapists for every tiny problem in our lives.

True.

False. To my memory, she never even cried when I was around.

That just made me think of something that I'd never considered.

My mother is severly disabled. About seventeen years ago, she started to have problems with her back. She would occasionally have a sharp pain in her back, as though someone had stabbed her. Over the years it's steadily gotten worse and worse. Now, she's in constant pain and she takes about one hundred pills a day (dihydrocodine, pregabalin, things I can barely pronounce, let alone spell). Even the pills barely work any more. No doctor she has ever seen knows what is wrong with her and two operations made her much worse than she was before. She walks on two crutches and for all extended journeys, needs a wheelchair.

I never considered that I hated my father for leaving me, a seven-year-old at the time, to look after her. At that point, the only others who could help if something happened were thirty miles away. They are still twenty-five miles away, even after we moved. So, in essence, it was me and her. After that, I never had much of a childhood. I found it difficult to make friends. I have a total of two friends in the local area and I haven't seen either for about a year. I spent more time caring for her than I do for myself. My school grades dropped sharply after that. I used to think it was because of the school being bad (which was true), but now I think that it could have had something to do with this.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

It's the same story when parents split up. They both you pretty much anything you want or whatever to win you over.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Yes, but make the best of what you have.

Try to forgive.

Don't you realize it yourself?

He isn't perfect, neither are you. He may be a bad father, but why not give him another chance, he has ruined his life and quite probably regrets it? Don't make his mistakes.

It was relevant, in the way that it gave us a better picture of who you are. Your need for help is apparent and going to a psychiatrist is perfectly normal in your situation, you don't need to be afraid of it.

I'm not a fan of mumbo therapy for anything btw, but you do have some serious problems that you better take care of.

Plenty of disabled people live alone, it seems your mother or more likely your own feel of guilt for your parents splitting up has manipulated you into believing you should put her wellbeing before your own. This might be a cause for projecting your hate of the situation on your father.

Your lack of social activity shouldn't have much to do with neither your mothers disability or your distant relations to your father, but with yourself. Maybe you avoid your friends or they avoid you due to your hostile attitude, but a lack of anyone to talk to (apart from your mother) hardly helps your mental state.

Disclaimer: I am not and will not be a psychiatrist and everything I have written is based solely on your posts without any additional information about you. Don't do anything stupid based on what I said, just seek professional help.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

That's a very bad attitude to have towards it.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I won't. Even if I end up hating my wife (if and when I marry), I'd stay with her for the children.

No, trust me on this. If my mother lived alone, she would not survive.

I don't think I've been manipulated. I just have to put her health before mine.

No, I just don't get time to talk with them because of my mother's health. I try not to avoid my friends unless I'm angry or upset about something in which case I'll probably accidentally take it out on them. I don't tend to have a hostile attitude. In fact, most of my 'friends' actually hated me from their reactions half of the time. But me being a f***ing moron, I kept going back for more. The few good friends I have have mainly lost contact with me. In fact, it's only due to the web that I have any friends at all and they're all in America, New Zealand, Denmark etc etc etc...

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I'm 100% against divorce, but staying together "for the Children" is a bad thing. If you have no hope for your marriage, then you are already divorced.

Its tough. Friends are important, the ones physically near you are more important.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

by any chance has your father been diagnosed with a mental disorder?? Cause from the sound of it, based upon my own experiences with my father who went through something similar, could probably be suffering from a form of bipolar. If he is I highly suggest that he goes to get help to deal with it because it goes in swings before it gets really out of control

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I support divorce, just as I support abortion. I can partially understand the arguments against abortion (partially), but I've never heard an argument against divorce that didn't sound like Catholic or Muslim propaganda.

Thousands of marriages around the world have broken down, yet they stay together for the children. I suppose it's all in the circumstances. For example, if the ex-husband and wife stay friends, it'd work. And if staying together harms the children in some way, then they should break apart completely.

Well, to be honest, I find the one in New Zealand very easy to talk to, but not the person three miles away.

Not as far as I know. I think I'm the only one with mental disorders in the family.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Even though it may seem so, the effect would actually be contraproductive. I know your intentions are good, but the results will be bad if you stay in that kind of relationship. The reasons being that we're all shaped by our environment (I know out of personal experiences from my extended family). Thus, if your children would grow up feeling the animosity between you and your wife, they'd become hateful people, shaped by the hate in their environment.

It's actually better in that case to leave your wife while still keeping contact with your children. I have several friends whose parents have divorced and still maintain healthy relations with both of their parents.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Hey, be thankful, atleast your dad tried to buy you back, mine never even bothered to try after he left my mother for some trollop in Cardiff. Back to the point though, I STRONGLY disagree with those who call your hatred of your father inexplicable, or say he didn't do anything to you.

Wrong buckos, when my dad left, yes he hurt my mother but he deprived a 3 year old girl (my sister) and a 12 year old boy who needed a fathers guidance more than ever (the whole puberty thing etc etc) of a father. All this about "he didn't leave you, he left your mother" is just crap, pure crap.

However, give it time. My feelings for my father have gone from hatred, anger and pain, to dissapointment and pity. He is the one who screwed his only chance for happiness right round the u-bend and back. He didn't screw MY life up, despite the way he hurt me and my family, he screwed HIS life up.

If you look at it that way with your father, with dissapointment and pity, then you become the man, and him the boy. The only thing stopping me from talking to my father is the fact I basically don't know him any more. I am a very different person to the boy I was when he left. We have nothing in common, and its been too long really. I hope to somehow sort things before its too late but, I can't see how. Its like someone telling me to sit down and talk about how i feel with a complete stranger.

However, you talk to your father fairly regularly. Its not like he is totally out of your life. Don't lose that. He may have buggered things up but don't let his stupidity and insensitivity cause YOU regret in later years, when its too late to change things.

I'm not saying be best buddies or anything, but if despite all else you can say that you don't nessessarily forgive him for his actions, but your willing to put it in the past and move on, then you are the better person.

Your situation and my own sound very similar. I was always a dissapointment to both parents. Always thought it was just how I was until my wife and my mother in law explained to me that I had high functioning aspergers bordering on autism, that my parents and grandparents knew about but never told me. Basically though, don't focus on your fathers criticism. Personally the way I delt with it from both sides was I considered what they had done in their lives. My father criticised me when I didn't instantly learn a skill (flying a model aeroplane for one) and the reason for that is his own frustration at his own limitations. My mother criticised me all through schooling, and I was never doing well enough, not because of my grades (I got to Uni and she never even finished college) but precisely because she is taking out her frustration of not succeeding on me.

A sort of strange mix of love, jealousy and fear. Loving you enough to care, jealous that you can do things they wish they could/wish they had done, and fearful that you would make the same mistakes they did.

Parents eh? Still, it will all sort itself out. Teenage years are meant to be turbulent, its to prepare us for dealing with lifes little troubles. It gets easier really, not because the situations don't arise, but because you get better prepared to deal with them.

As for the anti-divorce rhetoric, well, I am Catholic, and personally I see fellow Catholics in totally craptastic marriages that are a sham of the word. My argument against divorce is that people jump for the panic button too early in some cases, my parents case in point. They let their tempers get the better of them and they argue and say things they regret, then do things they regret, then their pride stops them from going back, and then its too late.

In my opinion, all divorces are avoidable, either through councelling to solve problems before they get so severe it breaks.,or by knowing your potential spose well enough to know marriage is a BAD idea before you do it. No-one wakes up one day and becomes a bad husband or wife. It s a thing that is either there from the beginng and will fester, or something that slowly grows and needs to be weeded out early through communication.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Regarding Nederbörd's entire post:

I had said in my next post "if staying together harms the children in some way, then they should break apart completely."

Exactly. He left me when I was seven, and he left my half-brother and half-sister when they were five and three respectively (I think. I can never remember their ages).

There are so many things I want to ask him, but I can't. I feel there's this river between us and the bridge burnt down. So, even though there are things I want or need to know, I can't. Hell, he never even bothered to tell me about sex. I've learnt everything I know from school (gets half of it wrong), the internet (unreliable) and friends (embarrassing) etc etc etc.

Hell, if I wasn't trying to grow a beard I'd be in trouble because he never even showed me how to shave. I'm probably going to slit my throat when I first try.

I think I went the other way through the scale.

They never told you? How did you feel about that? I was told instantly when it was discovered that I had mild dyslexia, Aspergers (the all-play-no-work variety) and ADD.

My father does the same thing, but my mother tends to be very good at not critisising, though I sometimes think that she feels disappointed in me.

I stand corrected. I've heard that argument before, but never from a Catholic. Congratulations. You're the first that didn't spout propaganda at me. I agree that some people do divorce too quickly, but most don't. The ones I hate are the people who marry and then divorce just to get their husband/wife's money.

Exactly. I wouldn't go into any marriage unless I thought it could work.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

You could always contact him again, chances are he would be glad you did. If he wasn't, well, he is an even bigger idiot than one could expect, but at least you tried.

That is perfectly normal, most people don't even want to talk about that with their parents.

Are you pulling our legs? My dad never told me anything about shaving, maybe because he has a beard, but the process wasn't exactly difficult to figure out...
Now there is even a wiki entry on shaving.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Ah, my apologies. I must have missed it.

Heh, I've always shaved with the same little electronic device I use to cut my hair (don't know what it's called), works well and because it isn't sharp it doesn't cut. ^^

Hmm... strange, I've never heard of an "all-play-and-no-work" variety. As far as I know, Asperger's usually lack in certain areas while very gifted in one (or maybe two) field(s), seemingly that seems to fit well with those Asperger's I know (we got a several of them here)... I myself have Asperger's.

That I think you could use to your advantage. Take that which you are best at or most interested in and concentrate on developing that to it's fullest extent, in that way you can use your autism to your advantage.

I second that (or third it?).

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well, I went through what most would term a typical cycle of anger, denial, blame, self-blame, attempts to change, and finally just living with it.

I was incredibly upset with my family about it, as I had suffered because of it all through my schooling and had I been told and something been done (and had the Teachers been told so they didn't think I was just another ignorant git who didn't want to learn) then life could have been alot rosier for me at the time. As I have said though, it was a learning experience and I am better for it. Also, the discovery proved that my wife is someone who truely, deeply cares for me on a level I never really deemed possible.

Everything has a reason, and usually a plus side. For example, even your father leaving helped you. It helped you to ultimately galvanise your ideas of marriage, what it is to be a good husband and father, and it helped you become you. Very few people can honestly say they hate who they are at the moment they say it. True, years down the line we can go "Wow, I was an idiot back then" but no-one chooses to be someone they hate. If they feel they are not someone they like, they change.

Therefore, in a weird sort of way, your father did the greatest thing he could for you. If he really was such an utter failure (as mine was, long story) then the best thing he could have done is leave and let you discover life in your own way, rather than by his skewed guidance.

To get back to the autism subject, well, all people who have it have a unique way of looking at things. Whatever the problem at hand, we see a solution that no other person may do, yet on the downside we may miss the very obvious. Its not a disadvantage really, as it means when we have ideas, people are generally surprised that no-one has come up with that idea before, as its suddenly very obvious to them, and yet they missed it when we did not.

My particular strongpoint though is absorbing information that interests me, and a particular strength in puzzle solving and strategy. As my late stepfather once said, I analyse things to death. I'm not particularly flexible in my plans, but i'm determined, and I always think of as many alternative possibilities as possible before commiting myself to anything. Makes me slow to act, but decisive :)

However, I struggle with understanding certain emotions and I am to social interaction what the motor vehicle was to the ozone layer ;) A more anti-social, reclusive, generally bizaare individual you'll not likely meet. Combine that with my old-fashioned upbringing (courtesy of my grandparents) and my taste for Edwardian fashion, and you get someone that is generally avoided by all! Just toooo weird for the clones that make up most of our generation I guess.

As Nederbord said, find your strength and use it. Most great inventors, scientists, artists and more or less anyone whos got anywhere in life had some degree of autism, as without it they wouldn't have had the passion or dogged determination to take their ideas, their inventions, their theories or whatever to their conclusion.

and Huffardo, it was probably an exagguration to show how little his father taught him. I do it a lot, part of my humour.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Neither do I, but it's something that they're supposed to teach.

*headdesk* Who wastes time doing that?

The way it was described to be was that there were two main versions (all-work-and-no-play and all-play-and-no-work) and various subversions of those.

I've been writing fanfiction for about a year and a half now. It's become a favourite hobby of mine and I've constantly improving.

*shudders* Don't even get me started on my teachers.

Good. That's what a spouse is supposed to be like. I'm presuming that she knew your parents hadn't told you when she told you.

Well, the main reason I feel the way I do about marriage is because my father never married my mother or the other woman. So every time I've been called a bastard by someone, it hurts because it's true. I won't put any children I have through that. My father doesn't understand what "a bit of paper and a ring" really mean. But I think that, even if the religious aspect has almost gone in this age, marriage is still important.

I tend to be the opposite. I do analyse things heavily most of the time, but I tend to act before I think. Something that's gotten me into a lot of trouble sometimes.

Not totally.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

No offense, but that sounds lika a pile of bullshit to me. Asperger's isn't exactly as easily definable as for example... cerebral paresis, where there are clear symptoms, thus those two explanations hold no ground whatsoever. Having Asperger's doesn't mean we have less chances or oppurtunites like any other human, it just comes differently. I myself play a great lot, but I also do a lot of studying... mostly concerning languages, which I have found out to be my strength. So aside from studying Spanish, French and German at school I also do some daily self-studying on Chinese.

As there is nothing to define Asperger's so clearly, the same would go for you. Ultimately, being a sentient human, your limits are defined by your ambition and willpower. If you have the will to do something, you'll be able to.

Yeah, I noticed that. ^^ I went and checked your profile on fanfictions.net and it didn't look bad. But see, maybe that's what you might be made for, writing. Seeing as it's one of your main interests you could easily use that interest to your advantage to further develop your writing ability. Who know, someday in the future I might sit in a bus stop reading one of your books.

Btw, about fanfictions, I'm currently writing one of my own. Although not for Harry Potter I still thought that maybe I could ask you for help and hints on how to make my work better, as well as to avoid my character becoming a Mary Sue. =p
How about it?

I really do agree with you on marriage still holding importance, to me it does. While not religious (actually I'm Agnostic), my opinion on marriage is that it is a promise of commitment to your partner, that the moment you agree to it you agree to hold on to each other no matter what and solve your conflicts like civilized people instead of throwing in the towel and calling for divorce first thing in the morning. To me, there are just too many divorces in todays society.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well, that was the way it was described to me and I never bothered checking. To be honest, I don't care. I am who I am.

*drink sprays through nose* WHAT? No! Just NO! I haven't been to FF.net for months. Regardless of my signature, my fics are plagued with Mary Sues. I'm rewriting all of my stories to get rid of them. Anything on FF.net is probably still infested though. I'm rewriting fifty (large) chapters of one fic and the rewrite is even larger than the original. For example, the original prologue was three pages. The new prologue is twenty pages and it doesn't even cover the amount of time that the original one did. But, trust me, my profile on FF.net is something I won't dare to touch for a while.

It depends if I'm familiar with the fandom, because Mary Sues classifications differ between them. But I should be able to help. Your typing seems good so I could probably beta read your fics too if I have time (I don't tend to bother if it looks as though the beta reading will take a month of a single paragraph which is surprisingly common).

That's not believing in God or aliens, isn't it? To be honest, I think people who believe that Earth is the only planet with sentient life on are pretty arrogant. No offence, but its a statistical impossibilty. There's this equation somewhere that says that, in our galaxy alone, there are likely 10,000 sentient species.

If all you're after is the honeymoon, what's the point of spending all your cash on the marriage? Get a prostitute. =p

One thing I don't agree with is the wedding itself. It used to be a simple affair, just a celebration of a couple's love. But now, everyone is desperate to outdo each other. For instance, weddings at the bottom of the ocean or a thousand feet in the air (it's happened). I just want a simple thing with family and friends.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

all i have to say is just go with wat u have dude hey if there advice is no good then just deal with it urself or maybe take there advice umm maybe tryto talk to your dad all i have to say threr really nothing i or they can give u (when i say them or they i mean anyone woh helpd post in this topic) all i or them can give u is this from wat i see is dat every thing all advice has been told i dont see anything esle possible that we could put in talk to your dad or watever dats all i got to say sryy if i was no help

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Ok ok, I won't read them. =p

Well, during this past half year I've taken an extreme liking to anything Japanese, so that includes anime. Currently I'm writing a fanfic for Love Hina and since I'm introducing new characters don't think it can be called a canon-fic, just you know. ;)

While it does mean that I don't believe in God, it also means that I exclude the possibility of the existance of any such entity (atheists are the ones who completeley reject it). About the aliens... I do believe there to be aliens, I find it, like you, arrogant not to. Agnosticism doesn't have anything to do with aliens. =p

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Flames of Darkness is the one with the least Sues, but it doesn't make much sense in places. I'm going to rewrite that too. *is dead* I have over 110 fics to write. *is really smegging dead*

Sorry. The only ones I'm even vaguely familiar with are Pokémon, Digimon and Yu-Gi-Oh! and those are the English translations which, as Japanese is total babble, don't have enough time to say most of the plot. Therefore it's sometimes a bit wacky. Well... regarding the latest Pokémon movie, Heroes, wacky doesn't begin to cover it. :lol:

*sighs* I always get them mixed up. I'm a Christian (Protestant), but I find I sometimes doubt. I mean, if God really existed, he'd do something even if it's just smiting us all for buggering up his planet. :lol: That's why I hate Creationists. What proof is there for intelligent design? Darwinism has proof. Creationism doesn't even mention the dinosaurs (neither does the Bible). So I'm half Christian, half not.

*looks up*

*embarrassed* This thread's gone a bit off-topic, hasn't it?

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Haha, well... they're Japanese. =p
Anyway, I'd think they'd be some standard that would describe a Mary Sue pretty good, no matter the universe. I made a couple a litmus tests and one said he was a Mary Sue while another told me he was the complete opposite, so I wanted to check it with someone who'd know his stuff. ;)

Other that the wacky haircolours, Love Hina doesn't differ very much from reality, so I guess you wouldn't have any greater trouble in judging him.

I would believe so.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Put yourself in his shoes, you know he don't hate you right?

Even if he is trying to win you back, it shouldn't matter, judge him on the way he thinks only about you, not your mom or what happened in the family.
People know they can't go back in time, but if an xbox does make you happy treat the money as such.

You should draw the line as in if he beat you, or through you out to the curb, and things like that.Remember, don't get caught in the same guilt trap in 10 years from now, mabye that is a good lesson he will teach you, take heed.

If he tells you how to live, it more than likley is somthing that he knows from the way things happened to him.
I guess I would call him and keep in touch throughout the years, but don't feel obligated to live or visit.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well, the thing is, that even though you hate him, that does not necessarily mean that he hates you. In addition to the fact that you said he always thinks he's right (a lot of people are like that, by the way), maybe he thinks that your hatred for him is unfounded, and he thinks that over time you will forget the 'error of your ways' and learn to love him again.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Damn. Knew I forgot to post something. Yeah. Xbox makes me happy. :lol:

I think I will try contacting him. Maybe. Possibly. Now I just need to find his mobile number. *searches*

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

You're young, not everything makes sense, in fact, little does, esp about relationships that you cannot control. I have no idea what it's like not to have my father around to talk to whenever I want to, it must be hard.

As for the money, IMHO, he gave it to you [sanely] because he wanted you to spend it on something you wanted. Since he's not around all that much, as your post indicates, he probably doesn't know what your interests are, so he gave you money instead.

I'd just be grateful he remembered you were alive, a hug now and again and everything should be good. Good luck to you, Jade.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Yeah. I truly panic when something doesn't comform to logic. That's why I hate most fanfiction. *mutters* Bloody Mary Sues.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well i would say that even though he knows that you hate him, you're still his son/daughter so he'll love you no matter what.

ANd as you said earlier, contact him. He must be feeling pretty low right now and even though its his own fault (no offence), you should still get over this and tell him. I mean my parents split up because my dad started seeing another woman and i hated him for ages. Eventually though, i just had to accept that he wasn't going to get back together with my mum, so i just go to his house every weekend. It keeps everybody happy. WHat if he had an accident and you hadn't seen him in ages.

Anyway, enough of me rambling on. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Son. Why is it that, even though I always have 'male' somewhere on a profile, people still ask if I'm a woman or not? It's weird.

Why would I take offence? I've said that it's his fault about a billion times.