Is My Dad Insane?
 

I’m highly confused. On both Christmas and my birthday (January 4th), I received £100 from my dad, giving me £200 total. I’ve got nothing against this in itself as it enables me to buy an XBox 360, but I don’t understand why he’s given it to me.

For starters, I haven’t seen him in six months. I used to visit him once a week every Sunday, but that got changed to once a fortnight because of my school and his work. He then said that if I didn’t want to go to his house a particular week, I should phone him and tell him. Two weeks pass and he doesn’t show up. Pretty much instantly, I figure out what’s happened. He thinks that he said if I did want to go to his house, I should phone him. Although my mum would be prepared to make me up on this as she also heard him, I can’t be bothered to call him and say that he’s remembering things differently because, in his mind, he’s always right. So I haven’t seen him in six months.

The last few times I saw him, I don’t think I made much of an effort to disguise the fact that I hated him. Why? He left my mum and I when I was seven and lied to my mum about it. “No, no, it’s not because of another woman,” he said. Two days later, she sees him with that bitch. I’ve got nothing against Melanie, said bitch, in her own rights, but I hate her because she was the one who took dad away. I’ve never talked to anyone about this, but I think it’s a pretty normal feeling. And then, even though he left ten years ago, without even a word to either of us, he had the balls to try to tell me how to live my life. As far as I’m concerned, he lost all right to be a parent to me the second he walked out of our house.

Last of the things I can currently remember is that, about two months ago, he split from Melanie. He sold the house they live at together and moved into his father’s house with one of his brothers, Alan. This has disgusted almost everyone in the family. Granddad hadn’t talked to dad for three years because of an incident between my dad and my great-grandmother (my granddad’s mother, I believe) over something to do with Megan, my dad’s second child with Melanie. Don’t ask me exactly what happened because I’m not too clear on the details, but something happened regarding Megan and dad went over to nan’s house and swore and yelled at her about it. Granddad found out and told dad that if he ever wanted to be welcome at his house again, he needed to apologise. Dad never did. Granddad passed away in his sleep four months ago.

So the fact that dad is now living in granddad’s house, and in his room, has caused most of the family to want no contact with him. The only two who talk to him, as far as I know, are Alan, though he doesn’t have much of a choice, and Roy, their other brother. Kim, their sister, hasn’t talked to dad or Roy since my nan’s funeral (granddad’s wife) about seven years ago because of a mix-up over who was supposed to get the flowers. Auntie Kim, to my knowledge, doesn’t seem to care that neither of them want to talk to her. On top of this, dad never told us that he had moved house or anything. I learned from hearsay from the other family members. You can see why I hate him.

So, is this money because he’s insane? Or is it a bribe for something? I’m confused and I don’t like being confused.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

uhh,what has that to do with the money?

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Huh? I was saying that it seems a bit odd that I haven't seen him for six months, I hate him, he probably knows I hate him and then gives me £200. I was also explaining why I hated him, because if I hadn't someone was bound to ask sooner or later.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Guilt, and/or he's trying to buy you back. That's the first thing to pop in to my mind after reading that story. Looks like he could use all the "allies" he can get. Maybe he thinks some cash will buy you over to his side.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Well he's wrong. I'm glad for the money, but it'll take a lot more than money for me to forgive him for everything.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but here goes:

My guess is that either A, he's trying on some level to win you back with the money, as the1chaos said, or B, he's just still in the habit of giving you a gift every christmas and birthday, since you are still technically his son.

Not to try to tell you what to do or anything (you should decide for yourself what you will do, if anything, it's your family), but it is possible he has realized it was a mistake to leave you and sincerely wants to win you back. Granted, the odds are pretty slim, but it's possible.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

I agree with chaos here, but even with that explanation you can look at it two ways.

1) He's giving you the money because he feels guilty and wants to bribe you back into his good graces

2) He generally is sorry for what he has done but in his view giving you money is the best way to atone for the past.

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Chaos and Stalker pretty much summed it up. If he keeps giving you money, explain to him that it won't buy you back, or you could keep getting the money, and never tell him. ;)

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Maybe he still loves you?

Re: Is My Dad Insane?
 

Why don't you honestly approach him and talk to him?