Theres this girl...
 

hey, whats up? I havent been around here in a while, and i have some time so i figure while i can contribute here i may as well lay some of my problems on some other people=p Iknow this sounds like a thousand other stories, but ok anyway, heres my situation: Theres this girl(famous opening lines) who ive known for about 2 years now, i met her when i wasa freshman in hischool, andnow wer both sophomores. My 9th grade year i knew her, knew she was a nice girl, but i gave no second thought to it since there were so many new people, and most of my classes with her wer big and i didnt really know her. Now this year, ive had an almost identical schedule to her in many real small classes, so needless to say ive gotto know her alot better. Shed be nice to me, wed talk, flirt , little things etc and again, i thought nothing of it, it was just "oh cool another friend". Now ive lost track of time, and it crept up on me so slowly im not really sure when i started to like her in this way, and again i wasnt really paying attention. Weve become really good friends by now, we talk alot, and in every class i have with her ill spend most of the time around her talkin etc. I didnt really realise what i was in for untill spring break, the 10(?) days without her were really hard on me, and she was on vacation so i couldnt even text her. After this i know how much i really do like her, and i cant imagine summer with out her every day! She is really nice to me and we flirt right? BUT shes a very nice person, and acts very friendly to everyone so im having trouble telling if im getting any special attention. If i were to judge by what i see(and i dont see nearly all), i am treated differently than how she does otehr people; shell write me litle notes or spend the whole busride pokin me, or sleep on my shoulder sometimes. But shes in no hurry to see me out of school, i dont know if shes busy or what but its hard to set anything up. I havent let her know directly how i feel because of the normal reasons, im afraid of her answer, and what itl do to the great friendship we have now if she knows the truth and doesnt feel the same way. Yet i realise it probably will go no where if i dont tell her. I odnt have much experience in this matter, So basically im lost, and a big coward lol. What should i do? anyones and everyones opinion is asked for(especialy you girls reading this), though im sure what alot of them may be. Let me know if you need any more info. Yeah i know, this one is getting so old by now but im depserate. Sorry for the long ass post, and for releasing my problems on the rest of the world once again! Thanks.

Please, use line breaks and correct the typos :(

Hmmm. Seems to me you two have a somewhat mutual understanding of a sorts. Tell her and you might shock her. As your are still both pretty young I'de say just let it ride.. That way you can be sure of your feelings for the girl. and she could do the same.

Damn this is so sappy I can't beleive I posted here..

You're 22? Ask her out for a drink, or if that's not your style, to go get a bite to eat some place. It should be dead week and finals week right around now for you, ask her to go somewhere to celebrate getting done with another semester and see what develops.

My God, that hurt my eyes.

As for the advice, just ask her to go out with you sometime one-on-one and get to know her a lot more. Cinema, maybe? Then a friendly, casual meal and talk about the film then gradually move on to other topics. Try and swing it towards romance and then just casually ask what she'd feel like if you asked her out. See what she says.

try and make a romantic gesture. put flowers by her locker stuff like that. try and get her to know that you really feel for her and see how she responds.

Never ever try this.
this will only make her feel stalked and just extremely nervous.

just plainly and simply ask her out.

no, im 16, sophomore in highschool like i said in that big jumble of words. lol cant blame u for not finding it.

yeah, sorry about that.



i know its pathetic, but thanks for the replies guys, ill be processing for a while...

Silly me, I glanced at your age in your profile and saw '22,' so I assumed you were talking about being a college sophomore, even though the age didn't quite fit.

Im having a similiar problem, there's this chick i really like, and when im alone she's all i think about, and i think she likes me too, but i cant tell either, lately we've becoming real good freinds, talking all the time and etc. and just recently she's been inviting me to hang out, which i would gladly do, but whenever she asks im unavailaable, and she's been putting up msn names like :

Love from the heart isnt meant to stay, but love isnt love until it's given away.

and i cant figure out if she means me? Because she just recently been putting those up since she started inviting me over, but i cant be sure if she means someone else? or maybe even nobody at all. (If Anybody's got any advice for me, please PM because i dont want to be stealing picards thread)

But my advice to you picard, is what ive been following all along, just let it ride for alittle longer, and when your more sure, go and ask her out.

Is that a bad thing?

There are two main tips I can give.

1. Do NOT over-analyze the situation. Just let it play out.

2. Be confident and direct in what you do. You like her? Ask her out, and not by asking, but throw out that you gonna do something and she should come too. Be in charge, for ex.
"You're coming to the park with me tomorrow at 7..."

ooo, sounds like you have a bit more goin for you then I do, my suggestion: Make yourself available. Thats what id do. If shes asking for you to hang out with her itl be easy to suggest little things; arm around her at movie, etc, and try to read her reaction.

That right there to me is a big hint... unless she does that to any of her guy friends...

Sounds like she has a crush on you to me. I Say you give it a few days, and then ask her out, whats the worst that could happen? If She says No, you can rest easy, and if it was never meant to be, it was never meant to be, although this may damage your friendship, but is taking the risk better than sitting around, being just that? friends? If it were I ( which it sorta is coz im in a similair case) I d go for it, i'd take the chance, i cant stand the curiosity, but im not making my move till next year, when i'll probably be old enough to keep a stable relationship.

Just go for it Man..you know what they say"No risk no reward."

yeah just ask her directly

are you even serious ??

Heh, nothing great was ever achieved without some good ol' risk involved...

I would say that would be a very bad (and offensive) thing to do. She isn't your property or petdog and that line would make it looks like you decide what's good for her..

What ever happend to kindly asking somebody of (s)he is interested in doing some sort of activity? :uhm:

yes, thats what i thought; ive never seen her sleepin on anyone else shoulder, but still that doesnt mean she doesnt. Like i said, shes real nice to everyone and very hard to read in this way(IMO), so i may just be another guy to her.

Same thing in what you mentioned, deaf man. Im only assuming she acts differently to me, i cant see everything. Even if she does treat me differently, it culd be for a hundred reasons other than that.

Yeah i agree that could be interpreted the wrong way, but i dont think so in this case. We talk like that all the time, it not carrying the weight of a true order, but lettin her know i really want to do w/e it may be. This may help me, i think. :)



what have i gotten my self into, i think about her every 3 seconds literaly, lol. I think my desicion for now will be to ride out the storm, and when the situation presents itself maybe introduce it to her very slowly and carefuly.

Just 2 question: Has no other guy asked her out on a date and stuff..and the 2nd question is: did she get asked out and rejected the invitation giving some obscure reason?? if you answer yes to all of these then your it Boy!!! ask her out..Nicely and with courtesy of course. if no then better make a defensive wall around her or else Romeo mignt come barging in and steal her away from you..

i wish i knew for sure, but all i can say to those questions would be 'not to my knowledge'. Its very true, knowing the answers could help a good bit in this situation. Im not too worried about romeo stealing her away, cause if she likes me as much as i like her, she shouldnt get involved in a relationship with someone else, not right now anyway. Im not interested in fighting for her like that; for me that would defeat the whole purpose. once she knows i like her i shouldnt have to fight for her, cause if she doesnt like me then im not going to try to make her. Not to sound like mr goodie two shoes or anything but thats the way i feel about this.

Well its you call since in the end the decision will be all up to you and not to any of us here. You forge your own path so to speak. but it will be nice to give us updates on your progress so some of the more compassionate members of the forums (and experienced on this kind of situation ) can give you some tips on how to do it w/out bungling.

sure, id be happy to :)

lol, guess what? i got the same thing, only that she knows i like her but i duno about her likeing me. known here for 3 years, but only just got 2 know her well in the past few months. there have been a few hints that she likes me but.. yano..

A restraining order is just another way of saying, "I love you too much"

yeah i know, sucks, dont it? :bawl:

hehheh :naughty:

" http://constancejill.online.fr/Images/Forums/xxo.gif "

And If your not sure, maybe get one of your friends to ask her? But Dont make it to obvious, your friend should be like, "so you and (insert your name here) have been hanging out an awful lot lately, is something going on with you to?" and then your friend can tell you how she responds, or ask one of HER friends if she knows who she likes.

NO NO NO , you are going about it all wrong. You take steps in a relationship. Then you alter the path for a lasting relationship.

Simply ask her "Hey, do you want to hang out sometime ?"

That line is safe, just friends hanging out...

MAKE SURE YOU GET HER NUMBER. Friends are allowed to have eachother's numbers without being lovers.

That line will relieve you of all excitement and unease, in the most pleasant of possible ways.

It is not a drastitic change .

DO not break down , hump her or say I LOVE YOU , I LOVE YOU!

Just hang out , if it is love , you will end up kissing within the 1st few dates. When a man takes things to the next level and a woman is statisfied she wants to statisify her man in return. Yawe.... if it is love she will make the effort if you are the man and make the foundation for her to stand on.

So , you my lad hang out with her as a friend , and if it becomes more then it was love after all.

Veteran advice giver now goes silent. Take care.

Do it only if you have a female friend please.
it's real awkward if a guy asks a girl this. It's just weird, believe me.

hehe, i just set a date up with my girl, im going to her house tommorrow^_^ She says they eat wierd food though, because their dads a vegitarian, ( im nervouse and a little scared, hehe) but yea, just ang out with her, invite her over, if she makes excuses all the time then she probably isnt interested.

Just make sure you look appreciative of the food

Will you people just wait for him to reply first?? It's like that One lone private taking orders from a squad of Generals...sheesh!!!

Im inclined to like this one the best so far, it also seems like the simplest one, and kind of what ive been doing all along. The only thing that worries me here is that she has plenty of guy friends, and i dont want to end up just another friend. As i said before, if she dont like me that way then so be it, but in case she does i dont want to let it wait long enough that she might give up.

Ah reminds me of 4th grade; if im going to be asking anyone itl be her directly. This is tempting though, lol. Besides, this can be misleading. Several of my friends have already asked me exactly that(though i doubt on her part) and lemme tell you, my reaction each time was a little short of revealing who i like and dont like, but thats just me.

lol its ok, im surprised im not getting destroyed on here anyway. Its such a commonplace problem, plus im prolly responsible for a lot of eyestrain by now.


I really do appreciate the feedback, everyone. :bows:

If you're unsure whether you're getting "special attention" or not, then theres only one thing you can really do about it. Confront her, and ask her what her feelings are. Are you just a friend to her, or does she see you as something more? Does she see a future in the two of you? Has she ever thought about asking you out? These are the questions you should be asking her, but before you do that, you should ask yourself this one question; if by chance she did like you, would you be willing to put your whole relationship with her on the line for the sake of dating her? You might like her as a friend, but from personal experience I can tell you that people can be seen in a whole new light once you enter the dating zone. Attitudes change, feelings sway and the whole relationship is put to the test. Are you willing to risk your friendship with her?

just to respond to some of the above, i have her number, we text each other occationaly and last last night she told me to go on msn and there were hints that she like me then her m8 came on and asked me who i liked i told her she told the girl i liked then they both logged off....

Well that is sound Advice and a wee bit on the risky side as well but I think the lad want's to take his time in feeling out the situation true it can backfire but any type of approach does unless handled carefully.

yeah, thats probably what im going to end up doing.

If you like her make eye contact at a medium level with her. A woman can tell if you love her by your eyes...and how you live your life baised on how you tie your shoes....

:lol:

so how did it go?

You know what dude?? With all most of your threads focusing on the Occult it's suprising that you can still find time for romance even give some sound advice.:)

Good luck Picard.

allow me a little more time than that... isnt a one day process...

hmm another good idea, though i probably make alot of eye contact already but ill try it in a different way. As for the shoes, ill have to hold on that. =p Thanks.

Sure that not some bank loan contract, LoL

Start hanging out outside of school.
thats when her true colours will show.

Ask her before its to late. I would know from experiance.

I know, i was thinking the same thing. Im curious, how long was 'too late' in your experience?

Well there was a point where I had a feeling where she liked me more than her [shit ass fucking waste of like x-dropout [motherfuckingassshitfaceuslesspieceofcraponmyshoew asteofoxygenandspacethebiggestfuckingarrogantwaste fullassholeyoucouldimaginplusinfinitytrailertrashf uckingwastelosershitshitshitdie!!!!!!!!] boyfriend and I was too scared to take the chance. We were beyond best friends she would tell me everything from her sex life to how she felt about anything. The day she showed me the ring from her bf was gone I should have said something. But they got back together days later. I was afraid of losing the frienship we had; which consisted of almost 100% trust. I believe I realized it was too late, well... too late! It didnt happen at once but it was a transition period. From the end of the school year towards the summer I believe. She still says hi to me occationaly but i dont have the feelings I had before. Yet when I see her with another guy I want to manhandle him! And I still wonder "what if..." whenever I see her. Actually, I'm afraid I'll never care about someone like I did her again. No girl has ever had the ability to make me feel that way about them since.

Bottom line: Take the chance, just make sure its worth taking. Just slowly bring it up, talk about things like how you have so much in common or how you have become close to her. Make her feel that she is special to you before you as her out. You may want to mention that good relationships are built on good friendships. Now if only I could have taken my own advice.... Remember one thing: build trust. Good luck chief.

Exactly what i intend to do. Im thinking ill wait for something in the conversation to give me an excuse to bring up that subject(the fact that I like her), then just throw it in there casualy and she how she reacts. We talk alot, so its a safe bet and im too much of a coward to do it any otherway, lol. Well maybe Ill have to if the former doesnt work, but untill then, thanks. :)