I've been asked a really odd question
 

My best friend, "sarah" is a lesbian. and she was has always gone on about she wants to have a baby. so, me and her were hanging out, and she asked me if I would be the father! i was like totally blown away, it just came olut of no wheres and totally caught me off gaurd. she said obviously she's let me be part of the kids life, and obviously would let the kid call me dad, dispite the fact she does have a girlfriend.
i don't know what to say. sarah is my besat friend, and has been for years. i really want to have kids myself, but not this early in life, i am only 21, although the girls will have no problem raising kid without any help from me, they both have very high paying jobs.
i to can support the kid myself. but this is not a question that everyone is asked.
i could really use someones advice here. and i do not want this to turn into a thread about how homosexuals should not be allowed to have kids or anytihng like that, or i will ask the admin's to lock this thread. i just don;t know what to say

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Umm.. im thinking to say something along the lines of "Sorry but no".

For me, having a kid with a girl... id definantly want her to be Straight.. and trust me she would be a MAJOR part of my life, im thinking you should suggest that she Addopt a Kid, or say no.

But you have to say it really nicely.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

i would say no, the reason being that if you have a child, what effect will that have on a relationship that you have with some girl in the future?. How many girls are going to want to have a relationship with a guy who has fathered a child for a lesbian, not that im anti homosexual ok. you might think that it could be kept secret, but that would be difficult and cause problems later if you end up getting married someday.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

RUN. Run far and fast from that chick. She sounds like she has mental issues.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

:clap: :rofl: nice one.


i'd say no. it's a weird idea and i think if she REALLY wants this kid she should go to the local sperm bank and get some baby jelly.


plus, if she is a lesbian... she prolly wouldnt want you to impregnate her anyway.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

NOOOO!

Say no. And if she goes beserk, just run, and keep running as long as you have breathe in your lungs.

Does that answer your question?

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Tell her yes and then pull out at the last second.
:lolpoint:

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

You're horrible.

In a nice way.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Hmm, I'd do it. You are helping out your friend. But I don't think you should take the advice of anyone on this board. Think about it yourself and talk it out with both of the moms to be. Think about the best and worst case scenarios.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Yeah, I think thats the best advise, just talk to each other about it :)

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I wouldn't do it. The impact it would have on both your lives and your relationship would be tremendous. So she wants you to be the father, and will let the kid call you dad, but she doesn't want you to play a part in this kid's life? Sounds contradictory.

Plus, when the kid grows up it will be really confused at why her "dad" is hardly around/her "mums" don't have him round more often, etc.

My reason would be that I don't want my line continuing in any way I can't control. If I have a child, it will be entirely that of me and my partner and I will raise it.

In the end, it's your decision. Moral problems holding you back? Don't do it.
Looking for a quick fuck? Go for it! :D

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

You will most likely end up paying childsupport without having any real contact with the kid.
Whatever she says now is worth zip,you will be the biological father and can be squeezed for cash if she gets low on it.Or just changes her mind.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Don't do it (thats my opinion)... Think about when the kid grows up, it'll be like, so you're my dad, but my mum's a lesbian (that is gonna be so screwed)!!

This is just my opinion of these things, but to have a kid, you need to be in a relationship with someone, you don't go shagging you're best friend (who happens to be a lesbian) - It's just not right!

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Kids aren't just a "oh, I know, let's have one! It'll be fun!" kinda thing. They're parasites; they'll drain you financially, emotionally and physically, and will give next to nothing in return save for grief. A kid'll have a serious effect on your relationship with your friend -- you may fall out, you may turn into the most bizarre 'divorced parents' on the face of the planet. And I have a suspicion that her significant other will be a cause of trouble later on in your wacky relationship.

More importantly is the effect this could have on the kid. I'm not against homosexual parents, per-say, but this isn't quite the same, is it? The kid is going to be brought up by three parents, and one of which -- you -- will largely be left out in the cold by the two parents who love each other. What the hell is the kid going to think? What sort of effect is this going to have on it? And how do you think it'll react later on in life when you tell it you impregnated its mother as a 'favour'? You'll be a father by proxy more than anything else.

I would avoid this idea like the plague. Accidentally crush your bits between two bricks if you aren't prepared to say no to your friend. Just don't do this. It'll be bad for you, it'll be bad for her, and it'll be bad for the kid.

Besides all of this, the fact that you have doubts ("but not this early in life") is enough to avoid the idea. You don't have kids with anybody deliberately if you're not 100% sure about it.

Wait until you are with someone you care about, and you're both certain about doing it. Why the hell you would want to is beyond me, but there you go.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

^ I think that would work out the best for you

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I'd just "play" with her a little bit, then let her lesbo friend do the rest. Not impregnate (I'm not that stupid), but, you know.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

This woman could go to the sperm bank and get herself implanted that way if she just wanted a kid. Run, run a very long way.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I dunno about the baby part, but it would make for great three-ways:naughty:, but it's not worth it believe me.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

If she's so commited to her "life partner" shouldn't she be willing to explore the options of adopting a child so that they can make that decision themselves? why drag you into it at all? that's almost not a friend to ask you to do her for her....@_@;

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Simple enough: No.

first off, when your kid is growing up, he/she is going to find out and they will probably notice your lack of love for each other and might end up hating you, hating lesbians, etc. In some kind of retaliation attempt.

she already has a gf already anyway, if she wants to raise a kid, she is better off raising he/she in the environment she lives in.

Its not a matter of protecting your kid from homosexuality, its the fact that at the times when your kid needs to know about relationships and also to grow up with loving parents, and if you do this, your kid will not have the proper parental guidance.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Yeah Phoenix is Right.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Woww... He still would be the father then, I wouldn't see why the kid couldn't ask for help then? (If it would encounter "men's" problems)
Proper guidance, you don't know anybody in this relation, neither do I, but if Dragokatzov gets along with the other girl, I don't see any problem in guiding the kid the right way. (Whatever way they may choose)
It might be even better, 3 know more then 2. Although opions can be different, but that is a thing to sort out later.
Sure it might be a bit strange for the kid when it reaches 15/16 years, but atleast it would know who the father is. And maybe things turn out different, and Sara decides that lesbian isn't that great.


How does the girlfriend of sara feel about this? I'm sure you wanna know her opinion too.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I personally wouldn't do it, the impact on your relation probably would be to big, she might rather go to a spermbank or adopt a child. If i were you i would talk with her (and her girlfriend) about it, ask her if adoption or the spermbank isn't an option.

Sure enough the act of donating sperm would be very kind but the impact it could have on your "relation" with her might be bad. If she is a true friend she would understand and accept a "no, i'm sorry".

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I can see the whole helping out a friend thing, and I'm sure I would feel a decent amount of pressure if I were in that situation, but I would still have to say no. Being a father is something that you are going to want to be for your kid, but not being there all the time, not watching every moment of the little bugger growing up would be more like being an uncle than a father. Psychologically it may be very difficult on you, and not to mention difficult on the kid. I'd say her best choice would be to adopt a kid less fortunate, that way, the kid wins, she wins, you win, everyone wins :nodding:

If she's DEAD SET on having a birth, then she ought to go to the bank.

Having a child would also put one hell of a strain on your relationship with your friend, talking this one all the way through would be good.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

if she's hot, do her. If she's not that hot, then politely say no

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I couldn't do it. I would not want MY kid being raised by lesbians.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

:mihailhatesu: Real helpful advice there.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I don't think her bank manager would be quite as understanding as her friend, though... :p

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Most bank managers make a living out of fucking people over, I don't think he'd have any objection to doing it once more.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

there are many many children that need homes, so i'd tell her no adopt one

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

There have been some real tards posting in this thread, but then there has been some really good advice. I say adopt, or donate sperm. Just becareful and look into how the kid would be growing up. The only problem is, things can change dramatically as the child does grow.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I would say no! I have some really good female friends (not lesbians... but that hardly matters)... If they asked me to donate sperm for a child and I agreed, it would add something to the friendship that I would be unable to foresee the consequences of. We're not talking about friends buying a house together... We're talking about a lifelong obligation. What if you drift apart? friends are known to do this from time to time! Not nescesseraly out of bed will... but due to you both choosing different paths in life. I've had what I considered "life long friends drift away like that! Some day we were only able to talk about the weather. People choose to stay friends out of accordance... Having a child adds obligation to that equation.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Touché ;)

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

:rollseyes: :vikki: You still have a lot to learn

It's only half yours ;). I personally wouldn't have any more problems with a same sex couple raiding "my" child then a different sex couple. If it would be a man/female couple asking me for help i would just as honoured but also politly say no (because it would have a huge impact on the relationship with the couple i'm, and not for the better i'm afraid).

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Im going to have to go with the trend here and say no.

Whilst it would indeed be a noble gesture, would the two of you ever be able to look at each other in the same way? Your relationship would take a real hit, and you could end up feeling as if youre being used.

I'd say to politely decline, but help her find alternatives.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

If you do decide to go through with it make SURE you get a lawyer and a contract stating you have no legal monetary obligations for the kid, or her.
If you can mentally deal with having a gay couple , or anyone but yourself for that matter rasing your kid that you might have no part of go for it.
Also if you want visitation rights get that in writing.

I would run away. Fast.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

i would say no because having a kid isnt something small that u can just do.. its a commitment and u should be involved in the kids life that u created

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Ok serious question.

If you get into a fight and dont talk, dont you have to pay child support as the father? tell her to go to the sperm bank man.


To be blunt... screw yourself. I'll tell you guys that I myself was raised by two women and seem to fit into society nicely.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I think that you should 'donate' your sperm to her, but only if you are able to get a contract ensuring things like no forcing of child support, but it could and probabloy would affect your relationship. I would advise against having the kid call you dad though, it'd be confusing. Or adopt, don't contribute to overpopulation

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Considering that this here forum is filled with some strange examples of humanity, I would say you are asking in the wrong place.

Well, this is an odd question. Really, really strange. I do not think that anyone here is fully qualified to answer this for you. You need to sit down with your family and talk about it, and with your best friend and her girlfriend to get their views.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Well if you create the kid, you will have an obligation to ensure his/her welfare.

It depends on YOUR morals. Do you think Sarah will be a good mom? Will she be able to provide for the child? What does she expect you to do reguarding the child? F*ck her and leave?

She may also at some point draw you in. If shes having trouble she may be mad at you for not helping out. Find out exactly what she expects.

Then see if u can get in a 3-some :lol: :naughty:

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dear god nOOOOOONNNONONO!!!!! :eek:

never make decision like that so young, remember who is most important to you, yourself, your number one so make major decisions on what will benefit you, things drasticly change in life, and having a kid doesn't change, unless your pushed over the edge while holding a pillow.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

I say go for it. It's no more fucked up than anybody else's life, and besides, at least you know your chilkd will be raised in a good home and have access to him or her whenever you like.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Do what you want. Just realise the emotional consequences, and possibly the involvement in the kid and two mothers lives might not be what you want.

My best advice would be to donate your sperm. Like anonymous except it isn't anonymous. Don't go through the actual act of sex with her. That could ruin your relationship.

Re: I've been asked a really odd question
 

Brilliant idea! Just get a turkey baster and your'e set! ^.^