My best friend, "sarah" is a lesbian. and she was has always gone on about she wants to have a baby. so, me and her were hanging out, and she asked me if I would be the father! i was like totally blown away, it just came olut of no wheres and totally caught me off gaurd. she said obviously she's let me be part of the kids life, and obviously would let the kid call me dad, dispite the fact she does have a girlfriend.
i don't know what to say. sarah is my besat friend, and has been for years. i really want to have kids myself, but not this early in life, i am only 21, although the girls will have no problem raising kid without any help from me, they both have very high paying jobs.
i to can support the kid myself. but this is not a question that everyone is asked.
i could really use someones advice here. and i do not want this to turn into a thread about how homosexuals should not be allowed to have kids or anytihng like that, or i will ask the admin's to lock this thread. i just don;t know what to say
Simple enough: No.
first off, when your kid is growing up, he/she is going to find out and they will probably notice your lack of love for each other and might end up hating you, hating lesbians, etc. In some kind of retaliation attempt.
she already has a gf already anyway, if she wants to raise a kid, she is better off raising he/she in the environment she lives in.
Its not a matter of protecting your kid from homosexuality, its the fact that at the times when your kid needs to know about relationships and also to grow up with loving parents, and if you do this, your kid will not have the proper parental guidance.
first off, when your kid is growing up, he/she is going to find out and they will probably notice your lack of love for each other and might end up hating you, hating lesbians, etc. In some kind of retaliation attempt.
she already has a gf already anyway, if she wants to raise a kid, she is better off raising he/she in the environment she lives in.
Its not a matter of protecting your kid from homosexuality, its the fact that at the times when your kid needs to know about relationships and also to grow up with loving parents, and if you do this, your kid will not have the proper parental guidance.
Woww... He still would be the father then, I wouldn't see why the kid couldn't ask for help then? (If it would encounter "men's" problems)
Proper guidance, you don't know anybody in this relation, neither do I, but if Dragokatzov gets along with the other girl, I don't see any problem in guiding the kid the right way. (Whatever way they may choose)
It might be even better, 3 know more then 2. Although opions can be different, but that is a thing to sort out later.
Sure it might be a bit strange for the kid when it reaches 15/16 years, but atleast it would know who the father is. And maybe things turn out different, and Sara decides that lesbian isn't that great.
How does the girlfriend of sara feel about this? I'm sure you wanna know her opinion too.
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I personally wouldn't do it, the impact on your relation probably would be to big, she might rather go to a spermbank or adopt a child. If i were you i would talk with her (and her girlfriend) about it, ask her if adoption or the spermbank isn't an option.
Sure enough the act of donating sperm would be very kind but the impact it could have on your "relation" with her might be bad. If she is a true friend she would understand and accept a "no, i'm sorry".
if your really good friends with her, trust her and can handle the decision, why not go for it?
at least your friend knows where the sperm is coming from (not that you don't in a sperm bank but hey, it's more personal and does't have to change the relationship) you could even donate first then get it artificially inseminated, to avoid having sex.
I've got a friend who has a different biological father to the one that raised him and they are all fine as a family, he knows and the bio-dad comes round for birthdays n stuff...
sure it's different because it's 2 women raising the kid, but as long as they bring it up right and let the kid know of the relevence of their biological father and don't ask for child support (which they wont anyway) there shouldn't be a problem.
If i knew 2 lesbians and one of them was my best mate i'd do it for her.
no better gift than the gift of life.
or maybe scalelectrics, thats a pretty cool gift too
I can see the whole helping out a friend thing, and I'm sure I would feel a decent amount of pressure if I were in that situation, but I would still have to say no. Being a father is something that you are going to want to be for your kid, but not being there all the time, not watching every moment of the little bugger growing up would be more like being an uncle than a father. Psychologically it may be very difficult on you, and not to mention difficult on the kid. I'd say her best choice would be to adopt a kid less fortunate, that way, the kid wins, she wins, you win, everyone wins
If she's DEAD SET on having a birth, then she ought to go to the bank.
Having a child would also put one hell of a strain on your relationship with your friend, talking this one all the way through would be good.
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