Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Lesbian Moms a Growing U.S. Phenomenon

Tue May 25,10:16 AM ET


By Teresa Carson

PORTLAND, Ore. (Reuters) - "I love my lesbian moms," read a hand-lettered sign a teen-ager held up recently to motorists passing a county building in Portland, Oregon, where gay couples lined up to get marriage licenses.

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com...age_efa108.jpg
AP Photo


The message, prompted by the heated national debate over gay marriage, underscored a growing phenomenon -- lesbian couples having babies and raising families.



According to the Family Pride Coalition, a national advocacy group for gay and lesbian families, some 9 million children in America have at least one gay parent and one in five lesbian coupled households include a child under 18.



"I wouldn't call it a baby boom exactly. It has been steadily growing all along," said Aimee Gelnaw, a lesbian mother of two and executive director of the coalition.



Using artificial insemination to get pregnant, lesbians are four times more likely to have children than gay men.



"Same-sex couples and single women are 40 percent of our business, and it is the fastest-growing segment," said Marla Eby, vice president of marketing at California Cryobank Inc., Los Angeles, which ships semen nationwide.



The earliest lesbian-couple families often included children born into heterosexual marriages before the mothers "came out" as lesbians.



But in the 1980s many sperm banks opened their doors to unmarried women, making unconventional families more feasible.



Gay pride celebrations have begun including child-centered events with face painting and play activities. Gay parents can flip through the glossy magazine "And Baby" geared to their families.



CHOOSING A DONOR



The first step for lesbian would-be parents is choosing a sperm donor. Gay rights groups say the matter goes beyond weighing physical and mental attributes. Legal issues can arise, such as whether the donor would let the child know his identity, when he or she comes of age.



Once the baby is born, couples often take legal steps to protect their families. In the states that allow it, the non-biological mother often adopts the baby so both mothers' names can go on the birth certificate.



Unlike heterosexual married couples, lesbians often have to draw up complicated wills and directives to protect their families should one partner die or the relationship end.



The fragility of these families was recently brought home on a story line of the television show "ER" in which a female doctor and a female firefighter have a baby together. When the firefighter dies, her parents -- the biological grandparents -- refuse to hand over the infant boy to his other mother.



"The story line is very significant in my own life," said "ER" executive producer Dee Johnson, who has two sons with her female partner of 10 years.



Gelnaw relocated while she was adopting her partner's baby. When a judge declared the adoption "provisional," Gelnaw had to fly back several times for follow-up interviews.



"I have a master's degree in child development and I had to prove I was a fit parent. I had to sit there with this caseworker and tell her what we feed Dewey (their daughter) for breakfast," Gelnaw said.







Despite greater acceptance generally, vocal opponents of same-sex parenting remain. "We do not support gay marriage, gay adoption or gay people becoming parents," Michelle Ammons, director of communications for the Christian Coalition said. "We don't support bringing children into the gay lifestyle."

GOOD PARENTS

As a result, lesbian mothers sometimes move to "friendlier" states or communities, including Seattle and Portland.

Many lesbian couples also consider their children's well-being before they conceive, including the impact of not having a male role model in the home. Couples also worry that their children would be teased at school or the playground.

"We would have never had Carson if we had thought she would be bullied or have a hard time," Liz Viggiano, a Portland nurse said, rocking her 10-month-old daughter to sleep.

Studies show lesbian parents are doing a good job. "Absolutely, these kids do fine," said Dr. Nanette Gartrell, a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, who is in the 18th year of a study on lesbian families created by donor insemination.

Sometimes the children themselves put the whole controversy in perspective. Gelnaw said her son Zack decided on his own to stop giving interviews by the age of 12.

"Time magazine wanted to talk with him. He usually enjoyed doing the interviews, but we discussed it and he said 'No, I don't want to do it. I'm just a kid with parents, there is nothing to talk about."'

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Gay..erm Day*
 

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I thought it was just common sense that people would come up with opinions, I thought it was quite interessting for kids to actually like having gay parents.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Well having two parents of the same sex would be quite confusing for a child, you would either not have a father or a mother (depending who your parents are). I then think would a father be replaced in a Lesbian relationship by a slightly masculine female or is it different? Either way, I think the boy-ish lesbian dykes (you know which ones I'm talking about, the manly girls with mullets) are suffering from some serious penis-envy.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

You definately forgot the dyke-mullets or the man-ishly short hair. Then there are those people who you can't even guess what gender they belong to as they're too much of both to make a distinction.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Imagine the torture the people go through at school. I bet people laugh at them all the time.

I sure wouldn't want two mothers, I'd become to feminine and probably turn gay.. *Aeroflot washes out his tongue*.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I could care less..really...It doesn't affect me, so I don't really care what gays do....

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Al and Octovon have ruined my evening with their blunt portrayal of lesbo's. I was thinking of along the lines of Super Vixens... thanks guys.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Welcome to the real world.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I am against lesbians etc, BUT if they are two genuine people who want a child and can care for the child in a responsible, loving manner, then I am fine with that :)

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

but the child has to go through a lot with same sex parents,it can be very difficult
i think

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

why are you against lesbians?

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Yes, it was in my signature recently. I thought it was appropriate to this discussion. Lesbians are cool.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

typical.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

please, assert your manliness more, i'm not yet convinced that you are one manly guy.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I think it's rather cruel on the child. Think of the torment. I don't know where the kid in that interview went to school, but I know either of the schools I went to would rip such kids apart. I see... depression... serious mental screw-ups...

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Bny, you seriously need to think about learning how to distinguise sarcasm, and hidden jokes.


Lesbians and gays should be allowed to have children. The child might grow up in a weird environment, but that shouldn't hold parents back from having kids.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

If lesbians and gays want to marry each other, then why shouldn't they be allowed? I have nothing against that. However, when it comes to children, I firmly believe that any child shall have one father and one mother; nothing more, nothing less.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

so true, they should have the same rights, what makes them them "bad" parents? just because they are homosexual? makes no sense to me....
Are they afraid that homosexuals (and especially gays) might abuse their children, is that it?
I hate conservatives!

***mod mode***
bny please try to put some more effort in your post! a single one-liner is ok but keep continuing posting these one-liners and i will consider them as spam!
***/mod mode***

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Agreed. The balance should be present.

Well, one reason is, however natural it is for homosexuality to be present in a species, it is not natural for them to have offspring. Ergo, we don't know what it will do to the child in the long term. Secondly, it's not for protection from the parents, so much as those such as Scorpy who have an irrational hatred / fear of them. Let slip that your parents are both lesbians, and you could be in for a whole world of mental hurt, possibly physical, depending on the surrounding intolerance. I'm not against it because I'm against homosexuals, if anything, they're pretty brave to put up with what they do. I'm against it for the effects it could have on a kid.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

no one here is talking about the parents , what they are telling is most people cannot yet accept the notion of same sex couple so they tend to be negetive about it
it can be hard on the kid

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

http://gamingforums.com/images/smili...rcastic%29.gif

I have no problem with gays having the same rights as a married couple, tax exemptions what have you, IE a civil union.

However, I am highly against calling same sex unions marraige.

Oh, uh, I hate you too. I guess.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I haven't got a problem with it. Better a happy family with two dads or two moms then a broken home with one of each.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

My point is it isn't marraige.

I have zero, nadda, zilch problems with them having the same benefeits of a married couple, so long as it isn't considered marraige.

Civil unions is the term, I believe.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Registered partnership

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

That may be it. Point is I have no problem with them having the same rights as a married couple. Anybody who thinks they don't deserve the same rights are against life, liberty, and the pursuit of whatever floats your boat.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

it's just a name. why not call it marriage and have done?

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

then we agree?

i don't care about the title so why give them a "special title"?

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Cool. Im glad we can agree :p
Its my opinion but im fine with them supporting a child, they'd probably do a better job than a lot of man/woman parents.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I think there is nothing wrong with gay marriages, especially if both chicks are hot and they have a live webcam in their sleeping room...
But I don't think it's a good idea to let a couple of the same gender adopt a child. The child is not able to choose. The child could get mentally disordered and turn gay also, because it could be unintentional forced in the same sexual direction.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

:rolleyes:

Since when has marriage just been a name? Marriage has a very sacred meaning behind it. It was also ment only for men and woman. Gay people have the right to have the rights as straight couples. They however do not have the right to change the meaning of a word that has been used for centuries. Civil unions is what they should get, and nothing more or less.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

if you look at as a christian thing. but a secular marriage should not matter.

this is sarcasm?
you guys need help conveying sarcasm if so.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I know there are people who have no choice on beeing gay or not, because of their differently developped brain, but I still think that people can turn gay by various circumstances, especially during their puberty. A child should have the chance to grow up in a "normal" social enviroment. It could be seriously confused about it's sexuality when it grows up with gay parents. And there are other social problems comming towards this child. I don't say that gay couples should not be allowed to have a child, I just want you to think it over. If a gay couple decides to adopt a child, now how can the child decide if it wants to grow up with gay parents?
Ther are requirements for couples of different gender too, if they want to adopt a child.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

But who sais that the child wishes to grow up in a hetrosexual family? A child can love gay parents as much as hetrosexual parents. And why would it be bad if the gay couple influenced the child and let it turn into a gay too (i think that it is in your brains/genes but ok)? why would the kid encounter "social" problems? if you live in a modern country people will accept gays (exept for a few) so why would the kid encounter social problems? please explain.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Yes and it's funny.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

Well, to grow up with heterosexual parents is the natural way for a child. As we all know, two people of the same sex cannot procreate human life in a natural way. I also said that the child has no choice if it wants to be adopted by gay parents or not. It would be decided over it's head. But growing up with a Mom and a Dad won't do the child any harm. It's the natural way and it's ment like that, so I'm on the save side on that. And where the heck did I say that gay parents can't love a child like "normal" parents? Of course the kid wouldn't encounter social problems if it lives in a perfect world, but this world unfortunately does not exist.
IMO this is a serious decision letting gay parents adopt a child. You show how open minded you are by fighting for gay rights, but you seem to don't mind the child's life and the influence on it's development.

Re: Lesbian Mothers: Topic of the Day
 

I also care for the children, it might not always be a god idea to assign a child to a gay couple, but this aplies to hetro's aswell. I want the gay couples to be happy and give them the right to adopt a child but i also want to make sure that the child growsup in safe enviroment, i do think however that these 2 things can be achieved at the same time.

ow and about the perfect world thing: most of us (dutch) respect gays, there are a couple of fools too that say that gays are sick etc. but a huge majority respects gays. If gays are accepted then children with gay parents will often be accepted too (well some kids might make fun of the kid, but kids like to make fun of eachother, they will make fun for of "strange looking/acting/... parents too).