Re: Need some advice...
 

To break someone emotionaly is to make them unstable so he end up letting it out. Someone emotional unstable will not make big descision like moving! Once he let it out he will already have been help and only a little will be left to do. Making him unstable will deff. not make him leave. I seen many and the one that make moves are the one that are in a state of mental imbalance. While the eomotionaly imbalanced one will be more toward staying where the problem is and considering it is most likely because of his father that died or something near where he live. He wont leave if he become emotionaly imbalanced. The other idea i see so far are a little weird(no offence). But it's kinda like trying to repair a falling castle. It's better to finish destroy it and rebuild one with a stronger base.

Re: Need some advice...
 

I'm sorry, but I have to strongly disagree. Someone emotionally unstable is very prone to acting without thinking... i.e. rational thought clouded? If I were the one considering to go and live in Japan, I'd be weighing the pros and the cons. If all my friends suddenly started to try and 'destroy me', even if they didn't succeed I'd bloody distance myself from them quick enough. Trying to repair a falling castle is much better than destroying it if you're standing in it at the time.

Re: Need some advice...
 

Someone that is emotionally unstable will have unrational thought and will be confused in their head. Unlike a mentaly unstable person that will be clouded in their judgement but they wont feel any confusion and will be willing to act on a much higher level. The way your using destroy is like if your trying to bash the shit of someone. What im saying is trying to make the person emotionaly imbalanced that way the mental barrier that they set up on themself to not see or that make them prevent themself from talking about it will collapse quite easily. I have the feeling you have no clue what im talking about with the castle. The castle is the representation of the person. Not of his house or anything. And even in the way your looking at the castle. A falling castle would be much more harder to repair as it would be falling apart and only causing more trouble each time you try to repair an area.

It's just like anything else.
Love and Hate.
Pain and Happiness.
Destroyed and Built.

They all look very diff. but they are much closer then many could ever think.
One lead to the other and it work both way!

Re: Need some advice...
 

If there were absolutely no other way, I guess I would...
He'd owe me BIG time for that though....

And Kuja, if I were to try to break his aspirations of going to japan, I'd have to use hate. Make him aware of the obvious things that are right in front of him. As matt said, doing that would drive him away.
As I said, I'd only do that as a last resort. I hate being mean.

:lol: Actually, I might just do that.

I just haven't got the cash to do that. and frankly, neither does my friend, what I mean is that he can't really afford to spend that much money.

He can't really afford to redo another year of school, he's getting too old for that. He's turning 20 this year. There's a certain limit as to how long you can stay in school. Plus, I'm not sure he'd make it without us there to support him. Most of us are doing the German Abitur, the German final certificate and university entrance, so we're still here this year, but definitely not next year. Plus, sometime next year I'm moving out of SA to go to university in Europe(Was thinking of Maastricht in Holland).

I think I'll ask him just how he plans to get a japanese work permit with mediocre qualifications and a shortage of work spaces in japan.

Thanks for all your advice though guys
Cheers,
Lord Wiener :type:

Re: Need some advice...
 

Meh, i think you dont get what im saying. You dont need to break his need to go to japan. Just make him unstable emotionaly. That way when he let it out it will help him a lot and the problem will probably fix itself or he will need a minor help but the main problem will be fixed which will most likely make him rethink everything he wanted to do as he will know his idea wrnt based on sane thinking. It's not about being mean it's about being hard. :dance:

Re: Need some advice...
 

you and your friends could "get" into sudan or something....maybe he'd try to be in on the new sudanese trend and "get" into sudan...it'd be cheaper than japan...;)

Re: Need some advice...
 

I have every clue. You don't understand what I was saying.

Anyway. Apart from being impossibly foolish, your 'idea', if it could be called that, is overkill. To use your metaphor... the castle needs a little polyfiller in a crack in the cement. Your solution... blow it to pieces and rebuild it. When all it needs is some crack-filling...
You seem to have some sort of preoccupation with the emotionally and mentally unbalanced and unstable. Why?

Re: Need some advice...
 

well id say sit down with him (next to your computer) and find out the ups and downs of japan and if nothing else (that the others put in) than let him make a mistake and be there for him when he gets back

Re: Need some advice...
 

I saved friends from commiting suicide i helped them threw, i helped a friend threw a rape and many more. These solution are much better then you could even imagine. When someone has a dieing cat and it's only a matter of time before it's gone. Most time they have 2 option. Kill it and get a new one or let fix it with medication for temporary survival but the cat will still die and continue to suffer while medicated. What im proposing is a way for the guy to get a new start which is a very rare oporunity to someone. You clearly have no idea what im talking about or the effect of any solution. Telling someone that has it's bad objective already set in a normal manner will achieve NOTHING. The person will just fake any interest in whatever the person say as it would be against what he want. You cannot just say

Helper: "oh, but it's a bad idea. Reason... Blahblah...Explanation...BlahBlah"
Helped: "yeah, i know but il still do it. It's gonna work dont worry!"
Helper: " Nope it wont really cause of blahblahblah."
Helped: "Whatever*Ignore*"
Helper: "Blahblahblah"
Helped: "*Ignore*"
Helper: "blahblahblah"
Helped: "Stfu about it already will you ?"
The one helping will never get to anything with that kind of soft talk your proposing. To get someone attention in these situation you need to be hard and do like i said. You clearly never helped ppl in that kind of situation.

Re: Need some advice...
 

The problem with your advice is that I might not be there when he gets back. I'm doing the German Abitur this year. He's doing the South African Matric. Next year I might be doing the Microsoft technician's degree. He wants to go to japan. And when I'm done with that, I'm moving on to university in Europe.
Whether he's back or not.

I'm getting further ahead in my life while he seems to think he has all the time in the world, but he doesn't. As I said, he's turning 20 this year. Plus, he isn't doing the Abitur because of his japan tick. But the thing is that we reckon he's not smart enough to do Abitur in the first place. That's not being mean, that's being realistic. He barely scraped through last year, and if he doesn't take his head out of his arse, he'll fail the Matric this year.