my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help
see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15)
and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz
so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex
"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."
So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared.
then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.
ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.
i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.
any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?
Dude, no you didn't. Go be an attention whore elsewhere.
Mack
2202839
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
*The.Doctor
July 28th, 2005 10:18 PM
Quote:
see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15)
Thats not right, your 22, you should not be going after or even thinking about 15 year olds...
Quote:
"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."
She was right, and you gave her n64 games just to have sex with you?
Quote:
ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.
Now that is messed up, butter? heated for 8 minutes yet? you bet its burned. thats long enough to burn anything.
Quote:
i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.
To be honest, i don't think you have a chance of getting her to be quite about this.
2202840
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
NiteStryker
July 28th, 2005 10:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wssl
ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.
Is this a joke?
You poured triple digit temperature butter on a girl that you basicially forced her to have sex with you.
Wow, thats not wierd at all.
You better stow this shit now before you make advances on a girl who runs to the po po. Giving a girl N-64 games wont shut her up. Her saying "no" should shut you up. Quit taking advantage of young naieve girls before I see another name on the Megans Law website.
2202841
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
Aeroflot
July 28th, 2005 10:18 PM
Quote:
no everybody is about to come into the house, shes screaming cuz her cooter is burning, even after i put iodine and salt in it to try to heal it plz guys how do i shut her up?
You need to wash the burned area and then apply anit-bactierial/antiseptic cream to her skin. You might want to give her a pain killer or aspirin.
2202843
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
AegenemmnoN
July 28th, 2005 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ßeef
am I this drunk?
AHAHHAAH! if i were drunk, i'd wonder.
anyway, this has to be fake.
but if it isnt... for god sake 8 minutes. that would be boiling. you're a genius.
also, a female, when properly aroused is supossed to become "wet" and produce natural lube.
2202844
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
Komrad_B
July 28th, 2005 10:21 PM
You have convinced a minor to have sex with you by givin her videogames? Do you even realize that what you are doing is illegal?
Quote:
Now that is messed up, butter? heated for 8 minutes yet? you bet its burned. thats long enough to burn anything.
You've put butter in the microwave for 8 minutes? You're not a great cook, are you?
This is got to be a joke.
2202845
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
Tap112
July 28th, 2005 10:21 PM
Haha. You got...
2202846
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
Red Menace
July 28th, 2005 10:21 PM
Okay a) you're an idiot, b) a woman that has sex for material objects is a whore and c) objects in the microwave get extremely hot. Now you know! THANKS COMMON SENSE! I hope you made this up kid, I really hope. I got Goldeneye, think thats enough to buy her silence? WHO THE HELL SAYS COOTER!?!?!?!?!? Girlfriend, you're 22, thats rape!
2202855
Re: Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter
wssl
July 28th, 2005 10:26 PM
im completely serious about this, she was screaming bloody murder before, but i shut her up by giving her an n64 controller, and now im hiding her until my parents go to sleep
This site is part of the Defy Media Gaming network
The best serving of video game culture, since 2001. Whether you're looking for news, reviews, walkthroughs, or the biggest collection of PC gaming files on the planet, Game Front has you covered. We also make no illusions about gaming: it's supposed to be fun. Browse gaming galleries, humor lists, and honest, short-form reporting. Game on!
.gif "Roll Eyes (Sarcastic) at that stupid method of spelling color")
I hope you made this up kid, I really hope. I got Goldeneye, think thats enough to buy her silence? WHO THE HELL SAYS COOTER!?!?!?!?!? Girlfriend, you're 22, thats rape!
Humour Threads Hall of Fame 
Linear Mode
