marriage - yes or no?
 

Well, since we're not sodbusting on the ole plains anymore, why do men and women need to get married? In other words, women don't need men to lead full, productive lives and men don't need women to get along either. It's not like in the old Wild West when it was just too hard to survive alone and we needed to populate the new frontier with as many kids as possible. The human population is getting too overcrowded for this planet anyway and there are already too many kids without even a single parent - so tell me, why are people still getting married and having kids? Most people are too consumed with looks, money and popularity to care about anyone else and figure "why should I have to put up with someone else's bullsh*t when I don't really need them anyway? It's all about ME!", hence the high divorce rate. I'm not saying I have an opinion about marriage either way - I'm simply stating one side of the argument to see how other people feel about it.

your sig is cool:)

LMAO... *ahem*spam*ahem* ;)

I know that I wouldn't want to have been brought up without both my legitimate parents...
Maybe the question you should be asking is why get married if you're not sure if you want to spend your whole life with that person?

It's like buying a car...

Btw, you aint supportin the feminists are you?

you, sir, are a dumbass

please dont start that feminist b/s


i think matt was right with "why get married if you're not sure if you want to spend your whole life with that person?"

thats IS the real question. But I agree that society is to wraped up in appearances over personality. That just seems where things are turning for people. I find myself saddened by watching young boys [turning into young men] lust after gorgous super model women - please!!! we all know the odds of getting one (unless you have some multimillionaire uncle you can poision). It goes both ways, though. I would never find myself with a ben afleck (sp?). its just unrealistic. i think the general public should realize that is what they are - normal people - and start accepting OTHER normal people into their lives.

Yet we are too wrapped up in having better everything: cars, computers :) , women/men, houses, jobs exc.. that most people cant find themselves happy with one person - they have to keep finding better ( when i say 'we' i mean the U.S. - im not sure how it is in other countries, but i know thats how most of 'us' are).

I can accept that im normal - theres nothing spectacular about me - and thats just me - im average. I dont know though - maybe I will know who's the 'right' one when someone makes me feel spectacular.

ugh i dont care - sorry for my rant - ill go back to bed.


***** and on the 'too many children running around without parents' hasnt anyone heard of birth control?? jesus.. maybe we need to make a ban on how many children someone can have before they have to use birth control - base the # of children on income, more $$$ more kids. hmm.. that would never work. oh well *****

Here's some advice: "Don't marry someone u can live with...marry someone u CAN'T live withOUT!!!"

~azzr (FN|Staff ... GF|Mod)

I thought about this for a while, and I think everyone - at least one time in their lives - finds 'that someone they cant live without'. I think it just depends on what they do with that moment. I think alot of people screw that special someone over - they lie, cheat or not even notice, exc...

I think thats where the high divorce rate comes from. I think people just cannot stay interested. There's too many 'good things' out there to try out. i think the adultry percent in marraige is at 30something... if not more in our 'new sex-driven' day and age. And i doubt the access that the internet gives doesnt help (dont beat me here - its not like it want to burn the itnernet on the stake like the salem witches.. ) It just offers easier access to meeting more new interesting people, thats all. ( i am not saying all divorces come from cheating spouses, just saying one option.

In my eyes, i couldnt see myself getting married. i havent seen a marraige work out, and i dont see why mine should either. Cohabitants seems like it would be a better solution. Ill just stick with that ;)

No offenec....but if u ask me, i think u have a sad case! :(

why am i sad? that i dont trust marraiges? or that i couldnt see myself in one?

i dont think there is anything wrong with cohabitant relationships - if you find out its the wrong 'one' then you can get the right 'one' without pricy divorces.

It makes me nervous to think of getting married because i have gotten used to that person for so long. But im happy where i am now :love: so i really dont want to worry about it

Sorry my bad! Didn't know u were a "lady"! ;)

Edit: uh oh...now sh0rd's gonna be doen my throat!!! :agreed

Why are you worried about Sh0rD?!? And how did you know?

Anyways i dont think that just because of him you shouldnt say something (as long as it isnt indecient :D )

What did you mean about "Sorry my bad! Didn't know u were a 'lady'!"

I think marriage is a good idea, you only get one shot, well actually you get about 4 or 6 but that's beside the point :D

P.S. Vikki, he knows 'cos it says in your sig, and besides Sh0rD is an admin, which is bad news for azzr :lol:

I know stuff around here! ;) Don't worry, sometimes i can be very complicated. :naughty:



Marriage is about living with someone u care a LOT about and giving them space to grow and express their feelings with you. Don't ask me how i know this!

P.S. Private_maestro.... Sh0rD's an admin all right...but i have control on aafiles.com, generalsfiles.com, simsfiles.com, simsonlinefiles.com, half-lifefiles.com, halflife2files.com and hl2files.com. I'm also moderator of many of the forums on GF!
i.e. im FN|Staff AND GF|Mod. Sh0rD isn't bad news for me! I'm bad news for people!!! ;)

OOOHHH i see someone got his 'feathers all ruffled'. hehehe well i will watch out for you. (i got Sh0rD in my pocket :P)

and wow i feel stupid. I didnt even realize i had a sig any more. i know i have his homepage in my profile but... youre observant.

My father has been married 6 times - how the hell can you afford that?? They get half of everything you have, every time you divorce... no - not for me. too expensive. I will know when its the right time

@azzr:

you still didnt answer what "Sorry my bad! Didn't know u were a 'lady'!" ment.
And did you read up on a marraige manual? That last quote looks like it came directly out of one :)

and Sh0rD - if you are checking up on me, im just playing with you :P you know how i am...

I don't believe in marriage. I think that it is an antiquated way of binding two people together. A realtionship of such a degree should only be based on mutual love, respect, and understanding. There should be no need for a contract on these aspects of a relationship. The Happiness should be enough in it itself.
The only good thing about a marriage is the legal insurances that consider one part if the other passes away.
Anyway, this is just my opinion.

I had a guy tell me once (he cheated on me several times during the course of our relationship, and we were talking about why I wouldn never marry him - because i didnt trust him) dont worry, I would never cheat on you if we were married - its against the law. he also said that marraige was more important than having 'significant others' and would uphold his vows - I told him if he couldnt/wouldnt keep his manhood where it belonged when we were going out, than he couldnt when we were married.


WTF?!? as if i would marry a man who said that? so he wouldnt stop cheating because he 'loved' me, but because we were married and i could divorce him for all hes worth?!? i had nothing to say

Dreadnought_dk - you were right when you said "A realtionship of such a degree should only be based on mutual love, respect, and understanding. There should be no need for a contract on these aspects of a relationship. The Happiness should be enough in it itself" - if he was willing to marry me then, he should have been willing to fufill the vows of marraige WITHOUT having them stated in law. And he couldnt.

on the other hand, I do believe, honestly i do, that someone can cheat and if truely sorry a marraige can go on.

I dont know, maybe its a guy thing but i know that what he said didnt make me any more sure of the trust in the relationship.

That is why i feel marraiges are impossible - i would never find myself happy and relaxed in one.

Re: marriage - yes or no?
 

Do you not think that most ppl do it for fun, and kids come along by accident?

And also, arent hippys the only ppl who NEVER EVER even think about marrying? Correct me if I am wrong(I probably am ;))

I hope people dont get married for fun - i think people screw around for fun but nothing in marriage seems thrilling. I think kids come along by accident - i am a testament to that.

i think hippies .. man i dont know what i think about them, but i wouldnt be surprised if that was true

Don't talk about hippies... its not long since I ate.

You haven't seen a single marriage work out... I haven't seen a single marriage fail. I guess your opinion is based on your experiences. I don't think many people take into account the loooong time it's supposed to last when they jump into it without thinking.

Isn't marriage supposed to be a religious thing? I'm not entirely sure (my opinion is that religion is nonsense, but each to their own) but I think nearly every religion has their equivilent. If you're not religious, like myself, you have no business getting married in the first place; its just a farce. An expensive, time consuming farce. That, and people generally don't seriously think about it and its consequences, is a major reason why so many screw theirs up nowadays. Like Vikki says, why not just live together - apart from the lack of contract and the odd legal benefit (which I'm sure you could compensate for with other legal agreements if you absolutely had to), there's nothing different.
That's my 2 pfennig.

hear! hear! :agreed:

lol, hippies !

Amen!

2 wives is cool
 

a harem wouldn,t be to foul:rock: :dance:

Okay, I've seen some very valid points brought up in this thread, but what I haven't seen is the question of "how young is too young for someone to fall in love?" I believe that there is no limit on love and true happiness. It's kind of like the stupid "must be 18 or older to throw your life away with a cigarette" rule, you don't have to be a certain age to fall in love. Whoever said that, needs to get a reality check. Some people find love faster than others.

When you are in love with someone, should you seize the moment and marry that person? My answer, is yes, if that's what both of you want, and if you could both see yourselves spending the rest of your days with that person. Can you be too young to know that you want to marry this one person and have their children? No, I believe not.

"Age is just a number."

... and that number is there to prevent some people form taking advantage of others who cannot see the true intentions of the fromer part.

No, in actuallity, since the beginning of time, man has married a woman as young as 10 sometimes. Come on, it wasn't so long ago that you were considered an "old maid" if you weren't married by the age of 14. Sometimes a 15 year old can have the mental capacity of a 25 year old and vice versa. That was my point. Maturity is the main factor. If you are a 20 year old woman and you have to choose between a 25 year old who acts like a 15 year old should, and a 15 year old who acts like a 25 year old should, which one will you choose? Most girls with a little common sense would choose the 15 year old and look beyond the numbers.

;)

i was worried for a minute when you didnt bring up the maturity level - that is the main factor. Yet there is something rather disgusting (from a point of view) of a 40 year old man taking advantage of a 15 year old girl, or vice versa.
I believe that with youth comes a cloud of naiveness - they dont have enough experience to determine whether they want to spend the rest of their lives together.

I was with my first boyfriend when i was 13/14 - he was 18. We were happy together, and went out for 2 years. I thought I loved him, and I thought we would be together forever - as did he. He even talked about marriage (when I was out of highschool). you can never tell if you truly love someone until they are out of your life. we broke up and I never blinked an eye (well after the first few weeks of balling my eyes out). I was never inlove with him - i loved him though - but like i love and care about dear friends, and my family. There is a little feeling in your body - when you know who you are suposed to spend your life with. If I would have had experience, I would have known he was just another guy.

(now I am in full belief that cigs/drinking/marraige/voting age exc. should not be based on age, but levels of maturity. Like the day after someone turns 18 they have a revelation, and suddenly understand the meaning of their life, and know what they stand for exc...

Whoa, I totally agree with that one, Vikki. You're right, the day you turn 18, you don't suddenly get hit with the being able to make decisions yourself thing. I remember that a couple days before I turned 17 and was able to see an R rated film, they denied me entrance privileges. It pissed me off, so I said to the ticket person, "what the hell? Are you afraid I'm going to piss in your chair from being to scared and I won't do that in 2 days? Whatever, that's the dumbest thing in the friggin' world". It's the truth, too, though.

Wow, I could go on and on and on about the age limit for things. There shouldn't be age limits on anything, it should be based on maturity levels as you stated, Vikki. Right on, sista! ;)

If you suggest a society where permission to do something is based on a person's level of maturity, who do you then suggest should judge whether a person is mature enough to perfom a certain thing like voting, drinking, or marry?

Tests. ;) I suggest that there be maturity level tests. I know it sounds farfetched, but think about it. With each new birthday, I think that starting at age 13, the person should have to take a test to see if they are mature enough to do the things that you otherwise couldn't do if you were 18 or 21. It's like the statutory rape laws. The are ridiculous. You have to be a certain age to have sex with your partner if they are over the age of 18? Come on, that's just ridiculous. Sometimes there are 15 and 16 year olds who are too mature for their age group, and therefore, can't find someone on the same level of intellect unless they are older and more experienced. But it's illegal for them to even kiss someone above the age of 18.

Man, our world is no where near perfect, and with these stupid age limit laws, it's never going to even come close to being perfect. IMO, that is just ONE of the many flaws with the US government.

Now you have set an age limit yourself...;)

Hmmm, VERY good point. Well, maybe there shouldn't even be an age limit on that as well. Just whenever they start getting old enough to walk or whenever the parent decides. I don't know, but I think it should start being mandatory at 13.

i think a test would be ridiculous - what question would you ask? there is nothing you can ask that someone wouldnt lie about. A test means nothing - only an action in a situation can show maturity. If that person knows they are being watched for 'maturity levels' then they will ACT accordingly.

but, i will admit that its pathetic to try a 14 year old kid as an adult - when he cant even vote yet (as in how stupid it was to have a draft for 18+, when 18 couldnt vote their govt into office to change whether they would have a draft or not) hope you get my point.

btw - concerning age and sex- i believe that there is that age limit because that is generally when a female/male matures (give or take a few years) mentally and physically - i believe that you need both those combinations to have a love affair - has anyone watched the origional Lolita (NOT THE PORNO!). yes - she was mature but it was rather disgusting to watch her **** a 30+ year old man. THAT is sick. (but it is also gross to see a 40+man flaunt his new 18yr old date) I believe love has no age limit, the only limit is what is appropriate.

Wow, Vikki, you make some really good points. I can see what you mean with the tests, very good point there. Now I'm stumped. Oh well, like I said, we'll never have a perfect government.


So what do you think about say a 15 year old man and a 19 year old woman? Is that "disgusting"? I think that if we find the relationships between two consenting partners disgusting then we should just ignore it. We are all human beings, and we all have our differences. I don't think anyone has the right to say who we can and cannot be with. Someone once told me "ugly people only date ugly people, and pretty people only date pretty people". That's bull. I think that people (particularly guys) should, as Vikki stated in a previous post somewhere, start looking at the person from the inside out. Come on, looks won't last forever.

when a 15 year old boy is having sexual relations with a 19 woman - i think the older takes advantage of the youngers innocense. (plus, i havent met very many 15 yrold men with.. well... you know what i mean. perhaps im pampered, but they say once you've had, you dont go back(and no im not talking about black). EVERYTHING is dependent upon the situation here - there are no clear rules for anything. But are you trying to tell me something?

I dont care either way - only when things become personal that i generally take sides. And then, i am still open to situations. (i think the younger boy would love to be banging an older chick - i dont know any boy that wouldnt. my younger brother at the age of 12(ish) had sex with a 17yr old girl - thats why im open.

No sex involved. :D And the guy has matured physically as well. ;)

i love women they rule
 

i agrre with you chicks.....maridge can be so buitiful..iam not 16:agreed: ..and ive been maried to the same bird 4 like 20 years ey>:smokin: they say you get 20 years for murder:lol: ...so many guys forget that women brought them up.......so our babes are the sweetest thing ....ps iam from australia :cool: very buitiful women......there so easy on the eye:eek: .....not all guys suck ....but they should love there babes....open there wallets ...womens favorite 4 letter word is SALE...so when i give my hunny the checkbook ..woo hoo action is on in the bed room :rock:

The age limitation is based on the norms and traditions in the society. It is true that there are some who mature before they turn 18, but then, some don't mature untill they are 22. There are always people who fall outside the normal category. The age ristrictions is a form of average; a way to include most qualified people, that is qualified according to the norms, the tradition, and the social conditions present.
There are different forms of maturity. There is the biological/physical, which is hard to dispute, and there is the mental maturity. This form of maturity is, like most other things, arbitrary. It is defined according to norms/tradition/social conditions by others. Sometime we just have to accept that there are people out there with a better understanding of the way our society works and they make the decision about age restriction.
When we are on the "wrong" side of an age restriciton, we often fail to see the point of it. However, when we grow up and mature, we can hopefully see the point.

I do see the point of it, but I also see (from experience) that it is unfair to a lot of people. Sure, life isn't fair, but there are more and more 15-17 year olds out there today who are becoming more and more mature with by the day. It is unfair to them. Some 15 year olds find it hard to get along with girls their age or in the same age group and interact better with women of an older age group (18-23). Is it fair to tell them that they can't be with a woman they can actually have an intelligent conversation with just because he is a few years younger and she may be put in jail!? Anyways, there will be many arguements on each side of the spectrum and none will ever be good according to the opposite end's standards. I guess my arguement, too, is pointless. Oh well, I've said what I have to say. :)

Re: i love women they rule
 

well i prefer the 5 letter word, you know... trust? That will get more action in the bedroom than a few bucks - I not a ***** and I dont get paid off for putting out (not insinuating anything there).

Tests would be expensive and inaccurate. To do that to every kid every year would mean raising taxes by about 50%; and in the end that money could be spent on something more important.

Fact of the matter is, you have to have a universal boundary. If the kid is so hyped up that they can't see that, they aren't as mature as they think they are. You can't have one rule for some people, another for the rest. It wouldn't work, people would get confused. So they have to decide what the the oldest possible age someone could be mentally and physically old enough to do something, and set a limit there. I'm sure that in the future, when they rethink certain policies and research them again, they may well lower the age limits. I do think that they should establish some kind of norm... officially you're not regarded as an adult until the age of 18, yet you're treated as an adult in court, and charged as an adult in many private sector industries, when you're 14...
However, I'm of the opinion that some things should not only be raised but restricted even further. To allow sex so young for example is daft, and the failure to enforce that age limit is abysmal. Teenage pregnancies are hardly a good thing, either for the parents or the offspring. Marriage age limits definitely shouldn't be lowered either - there is no possible reason for anyone to get married at 16, and it would almost certainly end in divorce anyway.
Driving, 17 is too young (16 in the US I believe). I've rarely met someone, even myself to a certain extent, who was a competent, safe, responsible and more to the point confident driver at that age. Every male I know who learnt to drive at that age immediately broke the speed limit. Its resulted, as far as I know, in one revoked liscenses and two car accidents, one serious.
Alcohol and cigarettes are obvious ones for age restrictions simply in the interests of public safety.
Kids are more bothered about what they think they should be allowed to handle, less bothered by what they can actually handle, IMO.
And Amanda, if love is so oblivious to time, why rush things in the first place? Just wait... worst that can happen is that over time they drift apart/explode apart, and find that marriage would have been a bad idea after all and they're saved from the trouble and cost.

P.S., someone made a comment about people in history getting married at the age of 10... you have to bear in mind, they would have died another 10-20 years after - it was nothing to do with maturity, it was to do with the fact they had significantly reduced lifespans than we do. Hence, not staying in school till they were 18, etc.

hahaha you are always there for bringing us back to reality matt :lol: And of course you always have good points

(statistic wise, though, if a couple gets married before they live together and have a sexual relationship their marriage tends to last longer, with fewer divorces)

even after saying that, i would never jump the gun - you never know how thigns will work out. The shortest relationship i have been in was 2 years - thats longer than most people stay together before getting married. thank god i didnt.

20 years of maridge but $$$ = happyness
 

mate i dont buy of sex ...my wife does trust me ..she loves to buy new cloths an stuff.....thats nothin to do with trust>?chicks dig buying new gear.right girls ..ps my mum had me at 15 years old and was like a mate ..wich has had its down falls...she liked to party when she was 18 ..and felt by havin a rug rat it made her feel she lost her teenage years....going to school in a uniform with a 5 month belly....different chicks have there act together more than others to.....personally living with ur girl freind for as long as possible is very sensible...ps look at his father an mum ..like wise the girl is her mum a few kangaroo,s short in the top paddock :agreed: ..great discussion any way girls are so smart about feelings:smokin:

Why marry at all? I don't get; why can't two people just live with each other. Is a wedding really so romantic?, are people religiously driven?

I actually had this discussion with an ex. He told me that he would stop cheating on me once we were married because of the 'law concequences'. I think most do it because it IS romantic, and a good way to 'finalize' their love. (well what they think is their love)

btw - i would get married to make sure if my P.O.S. once-boyfriend cheated on me, I would be able to get him back without castrating him.

Well, around these neck of the woods you're still considered "single" until you are legally married. It's stupid if you ask me, but they still title you as a bachelor(ette) until you're legally married. Marriage is a symbol of your love and that is another reason why marriage is so important, not to mention if you have a horrible last name you get to change it. :D

yes legally you are considered 'single' even when you are in a committed relationship if you are not married. thats only legally. Its hellaB.S. when 2 people decide to be only with each other, and one fails to comply.

Heh, Vikki, if a legal obligation was what it would take for your ex to stop cheating on you, I suppose I can guess why he's now an ex.

I dunno about the US (really, I don't, I thought it was to the East of the UK till I was 9), but here people are trying to get some sort of same-sex contract, to grant them all these legal bonuses that married couples get. They're probably a long way off (I don't pay much attention really), but maybe it could be used by everyone if it does happen? An alternative to marriage, but with all the legal stuff. Use the money you saved on a fancy wedding to buy a new TV or a holiday or something.