marriage - yes or no?

[Mr. Matt]

Don't talk about hippies... its not long since I ate.

You haven't seen a single marriage work out... I haven't seen a single marriage fail. I guess your opinion is based on your experiences. I don't think many people take into account the loooong time it's supposed to last when they jump into it without thinking.

Isn't marriage supposed to be a religious thing? I'm not entirely sure (my opinion is that religion is nonsense, but each to their own) but I think nearly every religion has their equivilent. If you're not religious, like myself, you have no business getting married in the first place; its just a farce. An expensive, time consuming farce. That, and people generally don't seriously think about it and its consequences, is a major reason why so many screw theirs up nowadays. Like Vikki says, why not just live together - apart from the lack of contract and the odd legal benefit (which I'm sure you could compensate for with other legal agreements if you absolutely had to), there's nothing different.
That's my 2 pfennig.

[Dreadnought[DK]]

hear! hear! :

[Private_Maestro]

lol, hippies !

[book]

i think matt was right with "why get married if you're not sure if you want to spend your whole life with that person?"

thats IS the real question. But I agree that society is to wraped up in appearances over personality. That just seems where things are turning for people. I find myself saddened by watching young boys [turning into young men] lust after gorgous super model women - please!!! we all know the odds of getting one (unless you have some multimillionaire uncle you can poision). It goes both ways, though. I would never find myself with a ben afleck (sp?). its just unrealistic. i think the general public should realize that is what they are - normal people - and start accepting OTHER normal people into their lives.

Yet we are too wrapped up in having better everything: cars, computers , women/men, houses, jobs exc.. that most people cant find themselves happy with one person - they have to keep finding better ( when i say 'we' i mean the U.S. - im not sure how it is in other countries, but i know thats how most of 'us' are).

I can accept that im normal - theres nothing spectacular about me - and thats just me - im average. I dont know though - maybe I will know who's the 'right' one when someone makes me feel spectacular.

Amen!

[DEADEYE]

a harem wouldn,t be to foul

[Amanda]

Okay, I've seen some very valid points brought up in this thread, but what I haven't seen is the question of "how young is too young for someone to fall in love?" I believe that there is no limit on love and true happiness. It's kind of like the stupid "must be 18 or older to throw your life away with a cigarette" rule, you don't have to be a certain age to fall in love. Whoever said that, needs to get a reality check. Some people find love faster than others.

When you are in love with someone, should you seize the moment and marry that person? My answer, is yes, if that's what both of you want, and if you could both see yourselves spending the rest of your days with that person. Can you be too young to know that you want to marry this one person and have their children? No, I believe not.

"Age is just a number."

[Dreadnought[DK]]

Originally posted by Amanda
"Age is just a number."

... and that number is there to prevent some people form taking advantage of others who cannot see the true intentions of the fromer part.

[Amanda]

No, in actuallity, since the beginning of time, man has married a woman as young as 10 sometimes. Come on, it wasn't so long ago that you were considered an "old maid" if you weren't married by the age of 14. Sometimes a 15 year old can have the mental capacity of a 25 year old and vice versa. That was my point. Maturity is the main factor. If you are a 20 year old woman and you have to choose between a 25 year old who acts like a 15 year old should, and a 15 year old who acts like a 25 year old should, which one will you choose? Most girls with a little common sense would choose the 15 year old and look beyond the numbers.

[Vikki]

i was worried for a minute when you didnt bring up the maturity level - that is the main factor. Yet there is something rather disgusting (from a point of view) of a 40 year old man taking advantage of a 15 year old girl, or vice versa.
I believe that with youth comes a cloud of naiveness - they dont have enough experience to determine whether they want to spend the rest of their lives together.

I was with my first boyfriend when i was 13/14 - he was 18. We were happy together, and went out for 2 years. I thought I loved him, and I thought we would be together forever - as did he. He even talked about marriage (when I was out of highschool). you can never tell if you truly love someone until they are out of your life. we broke up and I never blinked an eye (well after the first few weeks of balling my eyes out). I was never inlove with him - i loved him though - but like i love and care about dear friends, and my family. There is a little feeling in your body - when you know who you are suposed to spend your life with. If I would have had experience, I would have known he was just another guy.

(now I am in full belief that cigs/drinking/marraige/voting age exc. should not be based on age, but levels of maturity. Like the day after someone turns 18 they have a revelation, and suddenly understand the meaning of their life, and know what they stand for exc...

[Amanda]

Whoa, I totally agree with that one, Vikki. You're right, the day you turn 18, you don't suddenly get hit with the being able to make decisions yourself thing. I remember that a couple days before I turned 17 and was able to see an R rated film, they denied me entrance privileges. It pissed me off, so I said to the ticket person, "what the hell? Are you afraid I'm going to piss in your chair from being to scared and I won't do that in 2 days? Whatever, that's the dumbest thing in the friggin' world". It's the truth, too, though.

Wow, I could go on and on and on about the age limit for things. There shouldn't be age limits on anything, it should be based on maturity levels as you stated, Vikki. Right on, sista!