I can easily say mine were mostly authoritarian. Do you agree with whatever style in which you were raised?
I personally don't because it only made me do "the right thing" to avoid being punished, and I don't believe that's really a good way to raise a child if you intend for them to be upstanding citizens, or just not have them grow up to be aggressive (even passively so) assholes.
You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you.
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger,
You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew.
Authoritative, I could do most things with the exceptions of a few rules. If I got in trouble, I not only had to deal with the consequences of the issue, but with a punishment from my folks metted out by myself and fair to the issue. I like that they allowed me to make my own mistakes, without mistakes, you never grow.
1) Some children display more aggressive behavior outside the home.
2) Others may act fearful or overly shy around others.
3)Have difficulty in social situations.
1 and 2 used to apply while still under their roof, particularly in elementary (primary) school. 3 persists to some extent.
I don't agree with it. Of the four, authoritative is clearly the best choice, and is the role I would try to emulate were I to have kids. Could I go back in time and somehow get mine on the authoritative boat, I would, even at risk of not being "who I am today". That was not a lot of fun, and had the added bonus of never being able to be emotionally close to family members.
Last edited by Toph; December 31st, 2012 at 03:55 PM.
Mine were Authoritarian entirely, almost to the point of my father sometimes seeming like a dictatorship. As a result, I grew up being almost a dictator myself, and had a violent disposition. I was in my 20s before I overcame that. Even then, it was all due to my loving Grandmother who has always been gentle and nurturing. Yes, she was strict as far as rules, but she cherished her family, and enjoyed spending time with them. The two of us would frequently be known to stay awake until far past 5-6am, just talking about almost everything there is TO talk about. She effectively taught me how to love another human.
As a result of my own (failed?) upbringing, I try to be Authoritative if at all possible. Yes, I do emphasise rules, but I also listen to my daughter if she needs or just wants to talk, and she does talk a great deal. I will drop whatever I am doing to play with her, run with her until my lungs give out, cuddle with her, and read to her until she falls asleep.
Like Red Menace, by far authoritative. I was pretty much allowed to do whatever I wanted whenever I liked it.
I'll admit though, I was raised in a rather very caring manner, which kind of resulted me into being a spoiled brat until my early teens. Good that that's changed.
My mother always told me her children – my little brother of 8 years of age and I – were her everything.
What's bothering me is, despite the descriptions, that I'm still a rather distant person emotionally. I don't quickly feel the need to cry, hug, or anything of that nature. In fact, I feel uncomfortable hugging anyone; even my parents. Kinda bothers me, but meh.
The description for the children of Authoritarian parents is not entirely correct. It describes only those who accept their conditions, and allow it to become their definition of "normal," like an abuse relationship where they think the person actually loves them, and will keep going back to them in spite of being tortured on a daily basis.
I am reminded of the biblical tale of Nimrod, whose very name meant something like "I will increase myself by decreasing you." Let me put in another way: "I will make myself god, and make you nothing more than cattle to be killed once you outlive your usefulness." Is this the type of person you want as your ruler? Rightfully so, the story of Nimrod ended with his destruction.
In a dictatorship, you will also find people (like I was) who refuse to be enslaved, refuse to be ruled by fools and imbeciles, refuse to follow senseless laws that have no basis or reason for existing, and refuse to sit back and let ourselves be taken advantage of.
Some are because they are wise enough to know life should not be like this. Others are people (like I was at the time) who have nothing to lose, and therefore do not care what happens to them, and so say "Fuck you, I do what I want," and do exactly that, people who fight and die in true earnesty to make a good life because they do not have anything to return to, no home to go back home to. We may die due to our efforts, but in the end, greater good is done because of us. These are the people that start revolutions, and overthrow dictators, and the power the dictators took from the people is again returned to the people. These are the people who turn their land into a CONSTITUTIONAL monarchy or a Republic of some sort.
Admittedly, in my childhood and youth, I was very much the person who would either follow revolutions, or be the one to start them.
[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR=SeaGreen]The description for the children of Authoritarian parents is not entirely correct. It describes only those who accept their conditions, and allow it to become their definition of "normal," like an abuse relationship where they think the person actually loves them, and will keep going back to them in spite of being tortured on a daily basis.
Hence my repeated threats to call child protective services, especially after being tied to my bed with a rope because I didn't want to sleep. I'm glad I realized it wasn't normal, and that I had the mental powahz to see my upbringing as wrong, for the most part. Still missed a few of the controlling bits until friends pointed them out. :/
Thankfully they started not doing the whole abuse thing when my physical strength began to rival their own. I try to pretend the times before then didn't happen, and not think of them, when I see my parents. They're definitely better people now than they were back then.
I'm surprised I turned out so normal. XD
Last edited by Toph; January 1st, 2013 at 11:09 AM.
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