So the last few months have been hell again due to anxiety. I graduated with my masters degree in meteorology last May, but I started getting extremely anxious when looking for work. Since then, I've been working with vocational rehab for accommodations and cognitive behavioral therapy even though I thought the source of the anxiety was medications or lack thereof. Recently, though, I discovered it may be a condition known as ergophobia, or a phobia of work. This makes more sense because as I was growing up, I had a dad that was fussy and got worse with age (it turns out it's due to his borderline personality disorder). Furthermore, my mom lost her job suddenly and developed PTSD from it. Combine this with picky employers, news of lost jobs, and an old survey I remember hearing about where 90% of people hated their job, it was a recipe for disaster.
While I feel better knowing what I have, I'm in a pickle. If I fail to overcome this disability, I'm going to end up on welfare with a grad school degree. My family won't be too happy with me then. I just hope things work out in the next few months with vocational rehab CBT and working to become a community college teacher. If not...
That sucks :/ well, maybe consider future employers more like future classes? I'm no expert and don't know if you've tried it, but sometimes tricking your brain can help.
That sucks a lot. I fear I have it, hopefully to a lesser degree, as I'm for some reason rather anxious about the possibility of employment, almost a fear-of-success sort of thing.
But anyway, I have a year to work that out, so good luck to you.
Last edited by Toph; December 31st, 2012 at 01:17 PM.
Not the same kind of anxious you're thinking of. It's more like, "I really hope I don't get the job", even though intellectually you know you need it or you'll live in a box. At least that's how it is for me, I dunno about Kyle.
Last edited by Toph; December 31st, 2012 at 03:46 PM.
Not the same kind of anxious you're thinking of. It's more like, "I really hope I don't get the job", even though intellectually you know you need it or you'll live in a box. At least that's how it is for me, I dunno about Kyle.
Then it isn't different than what I am thinking of at all. But, I guess the real question is why do you hope you don't get the job?
Because, in this economy, I've found I have to settle. So, I intellectually know I need it or I'll live in a box, but I hope I don't get the job because I don't really want it.
And that is the story of how I found my first job out of college.
It still seems different. I'm not worried about having a shit job. Even if someone offered me a captain-of-the-enterprise-plus-superhero-plus-live-forever-and-lots-of-candy job, I'd be afraid of getting it. I have little idea why I hope I don't get it. It's not logical at all. I can get a job I enjoy with relatively little hassle. It's rather difficult to explain, because it's not a thought process but a feeling. But I'll try, in bullet form.
- I worry I won't live up to the jobs expectations (even for stupid jobs, like fast food, that a chimp could probably do. Rather like performance anxiety)
- I worry that I'll get overwhelmed by it, physically, mentally, socially.
- Something else that I can't even comprehend in my own mind, just some sort of abstract aversion with no obvious source.
Last edited by Toph; December 31st, 2012 at 05:48 PM.
It still seems different. I'm not worried about having a shit job. Even if someone offered me a captain-of-the-enterprise-plus-superhero-plus-live-forever-and-lots-of-candy job, I'd be afraid of getting it. I have little idea why I hope I don't get it. It's not logical at all. I can get a job I enjoy with relatively little hassle. It's rather difficult to explain, because it's not a thought process but a feeling. But I'll try, in bullet form.
- I worry I won't live up to the jobs expectations (even for stupid jobs, like fast food, that a chimp could probably do. Rather like performance anxiety)
- I worry that I'll get overwhelmed by it, physically, mentally, socially.
- Something else that I can't even comprehend in my own mind, just some sort of abstract aversion with no obvious source.
Everybody has those feelings when shooting for any job. I get them every time I apply for a job, increasing in severity as I get further through the application process, regardless of whether it's a job I know I could do well and really want, or whether it's a shit, menial job. It's natural. I used to get them even before I was laid off twice in a row, and after that I get them tenfold. I'd go so far as to say that anybody who doesn't get them is overconfident.
I think you have had somewhat lesser social exposure than the people around you. Would it be comfortable for you to tell me:
How many friends did you have during your highschool/college/university?
What was/is you favourite hobby?
How many movies do you watch in a month usually?
Do you think its too easy to persuade you? Do you think its hard for you to act solid and stubborn when its really needed?
I'm not a psychologist, but my general experience indicates you are not the type who are afraid of work. Your main problem is the feeling of insecurity and lack of confidence. Once you start a job, you will find that your symptoms have evaporated like gasoline in an african savana.
Its all a Chequer-board of Nights and Days
Where Destiny with Men for Pieces plays
Hither and thither moves, and mates, and slays
And one by one back in the Closet lays
Everybody has those feelings when shooting for any job. I get them every time I apply for a job, increasing in severity as I get further through the application process, regardless of whether it's a job I know I could do well and really want, or whether it's a shit, menial job. It's natural. I used to get them even before I was laid off twice in a row, and after that I get them tenfold. I'd go so far as to say that anybody who doesn't get them is overconfident.
I have to agree with Mr. Matt. But, I admit, it is probably also hard to put into words.
I just really worry, with my interactions with many on these boards, that they have these misconceptions about how people are supposed to behave in civil society and the fact that they don't means there is something wrong with them. Part of growing up is knowing when to hold your cards close to your chest and when to go all in. No one is perfect.
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So I Might Have Ergophobia. 
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