Is this poetry better than my earlier stuff?

[Turbanator]

Originally Posted by Lord Wiener

I don't really recognize the difference to your normal posts.

It's far too abstract for my tastes though, never been a big fan of poetry.

Turbanator is no big fan of poetry either But if my heart was not made of metal Then it would have touched it

[Ryette]

Unlike everyone else here, I cherish poetry, and, well brian, I hate to break it to you, but writing of any sort isn't your forté, especially not poetry.

The first one seems like it was written by someone who is barely even literate, and the second sounds like a Martin Luther King wannabe. Sure, repetition is great for persuasive speech, but it's pretty cliché.

[Captain Fist]

Originally Posted by Lord Wiener

I don't really recognize the difference to your normal posts.

It's far too abstract for my tastes though, never been a big fan of poetry.

Same here. I've never liked poetry particularly either . . so I am a bit biased. I have this baseless (I'm completely serious here) that all poetry outside of Coffee Shops and post 1980s is written by women and people with raging emotions. That isn't true, but it is the first thing that comes to my head when I think of poetry. Could that be counted as misogyny?

[Liquid fire]

Originally Posted by Ryette

Unlike everyone else here, I cherish poetry, and, well brian, I hate to break it to you, but writing of any sort isn't your forté, especially not poetry.

The first one seems like it was written by someone who is barely even literate, and the second sounds like a Martin Luther King wannabe. Sure, repetition is great for persuasive speech, but it's pretty cliché.

Well, no one can say that you weren't creative with your input . I admit though that some of my English papers, if they could speak would beg to differ that I can not write anything good. Sure, the grammar stinks but I know that I CAN have some deep ideas, not to say that they are beyond others but yes I CAN have them.

[*Soviet.Power]

Originally Posted by briankory

Well, no one can say that you weren't creative with your input . I admit though that some of my English papers, if they could speak would beg to differ that I can not write anything good. Sure, the grammar stinks but I know that I CAN have some deep ideas, not to say that they are beyond others but yes I CAN have them.

Deep ideas mean nothing if you don't make sense when trying to get them across in a certain medium. It's like you're trying to fit too much into one poem. Find one idea and stick with it and work on getting it across to your target audience really well.