Advice
 

Right, I have a bit of a situation on my hands.

As you may recall, a few weeks ago I informed you all of how my girlfriend of four years ended it with me. Well, I come to you now with a whole new problem and one with which I need advice on. I've been on the 'prowl' looking for new love, and I thought I'd found it. Her name's Kez, and we've known each other for over a year now. We've always got along great, and we have a common interest in the same things. All is well and good, and up until now it didn't bother me that she had a boyfriend. Until yesterday...

On lunch at work, I get a text from her asking me to call her. I do so, with mucho interest. Apparently, her boyfriend had been treating her like shit and she needs a shoulder to cry on. Step forward, moi. For the next half-hour we talk about it and I be a mate. But all sorts of emotions are being chucked around. Like feelings for her, for example.

Presenting part two of the problem; the Advisor. After this call, I turned to Rachael - a colleague of mine - and asked for some advice on the situation. Again, we sat for a good half-hour talking about it and some nice stuff was said. We swapped numbers, emails and we realised we have more in common than we though. All very well, except now I have feelings for two girls with whom I like and know very well. It doesn't end there, oh no.

Kez contacts me again today saying that yesterday she was just being an emo, and that her and her boyfriend are still very much together. She progressed to thank me 'for keeping her sane' and gave some kisses. I text Racheal and update her as she requested. She said she was sorry and that I should support Kez, and to continue being her friend through it all. I tell her it won't be easy, but she said her friend did it with her and her current boyfriend. Gah!

At this point in time, I feel like dying. I was cruelly dumped after four years and now two possible objects of desire have been snatched away from me, particually Kez hurting more so. I don't know what to do.

Re: Advice
 

There really is only one solution to this sort of problem.

Large quantities of alcohol, in a licenced rocking establishment every friday night.

It cures all those relationship blues.

Re: Advice
 

life sucks

Re: Advice
 

Unfortunately, all the decent spots around here are tonight filled with underage chavs getting wrecked before heading back to school tomorrow. I don't fancy Little Jimmy screaming in my face all night. I have a bottle of vodka to keep my company.
Idiot. Go and die a horrible newbie death.

Re: Advice
 

all i was saying was that life is not perfect

Re: Advice
 

And thats going to help my problem, how?

I wanted some advice, dude. If I wanted retarded comments like that, I'd have asked. But I didn't; I asked for some good advice.

Re: Advice
 

Calm down guys.

Remember, its harder to say something nice, but its heck of alot more satisfying.

Re: Advice
 

ok what i do is just stay good good friends with one of them and the one that dumps or gets dumped first you make your move.

Re: Advice
 

Okay, maybe you should tell them both exactly how you feel. Then, if either break-up with their current boyfriends, you're in with a shot.

Re: Advice
 

I figure the best way to go about things, is to just play it easy and steady.

Stay friends with both of them, look after them, be their best friend, their shoulder to cry on, their drinking partner, whatever. Just keep things between you as friends, because sometimes, without realising, that may be all you're after. I know, I'd much rather have 100 friends, than just that 1 special person.

And hey, who knows, in the end it might turn into something deeper, but if it doesnt, dont worry - you'll have two great friends who'll be there for you through thick and thin.

Re: Advice
 

Sorry I'm not the type to give advice but.. If i were you I would go for the one you feel the stronger feelings for.

You aren't going to get it in a gaming forum.

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Eh, go and watch them be stupid. Realizing you are a genius in a sea of drunken idiots makes anyone feel better.

I would say that you should stay friends with them, but at the same time move on. Keep on the hunt, and probabality will come out in your favor in the end.

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That's girls, they just need a shoulder to cry on and don't expect anyone to have interest in them what so ever.
But dude, don't feel bad about it, I mean; how long have you been single now? the world doens't end when you don't have a relationship. In fact, I love being single after all that time.

Re: Advice
 

Yea Alcohol... :nodding:


STFU Baney..



Yea, this is a really crappy situation... Me thinks if she gets upset again and wants to talk. You should wait for the right opportunity and just tell her : How hard it is to listen because you have alot of feelings for her. And just let her know how much she hurt you. Try to show a little emotion, women like that... But don't let your emotions get out of hand. It could be dangerous for your relationship.


Sorry about your problem. Hope this helps. But, do what fits her personallity. I don't know how she thinks so.... :uhm:

Re: Advice
 

Evil, evil people. You need someone to take to a dance. You pay for the ticket, buy them flowers, and the whole 9 yards. You end up liking the girl after the night is over, but she does not like you. She liked you wallet, and nothing more.

After I broke up with my GF, I loved it. After about 2 months, the single-ness is becomming boring. I need someone to go places with on the weekend.

Re: Advice
 

Or even someone to just sit around the house with... Well, sitting around bored usually leads to... :naughty:

Re: Advice
 

If you consider them to be your friends, leave it then. I had plenty of times were I just had wonderfull friendships with certain ladies and once we got dated and all, everything just turned out wrong. Now I just try to keep as many of them as friends, nothing more, nothing less.

But if you'd consider them to be possible girlfriends, just observe both of them and pick one of them. Start dating, etc, etc. If that one turns out wrong try to remain friends and go for the other one. Just don't do em both. Backfired on me once. Got a bit to greedy :naughty:

Re: Advice
 

In the end, I did decide to head down to one of the nightclubs and met up with a few mates. Got some vodka shots in, and decided to have a giggle at the chavs making twats out of themselves. I put my mind to rest by not thinking about the situation, and instead had a good time. Alcohol really is the solution to all of lifes problems.

But that would put me in the 'friend zone' thus rendering it impossible to start any relationship being more than a friend. I like them too much to put them in the friend zone...

But that's the thing; which one do I go for? It's incredibily stupid how I got myself into this mess, and now I come here asking for advice. I'm a fool, and a definitive hopeless romantic. I like them both, and have a lot in common with each. I'd say more so with Kez, but she's back with her ex after I gave her the shoulder to cry on after she split up with him. And Rachael ain't exactly free at the moment either. I need to think this through...

Anyway, thank you all for you advice. Some of it has been really great to read and take to heart, and then there's the more retarded comments from insignificant members but I won't waste my time bitching about them. I have more pressing matters to deal with.

Re: Advice
 

It's not stupid how you got into it, it just happends.
If Kez is back with her ex, fine, just remain friends untill time brings you together. Same goes for Rachael, if she's taken to bad for her in a way. Just be single for a while and enjoy it. Mabye you'll stumble across some other chick and get something beautifull. My advice is just to let things happen.

Re: Advice
 

For the best advice you probably should ask people that know you (and/or these girls). But anyway, I would try to remain friends with both of them. Be kind and suportive and stay in touch. If either of them starts to grow feelings for you they will let you know I suppose. It must be difficult though if you wouldn't mind taking it one step further.

If you really can't "just stay friends" you would have to tell both you begin to feel more then just friendship but this could mean A) they "bite" and start a relationship B) They decline your requist and you might even lose them as a friend.

It's up to you, are you really sure you are in love with both of them or is it a feeling of just "really liking them" (later to discover it's not really falling in love with them either and "good friends" being just fine or for the best) ? Depending on that you may or may not wish to move.

Sorry if I'm rather useless, this is just my personal opinion/thought as an unexperienced person. I myself don't make a move unless flirted with and girls haven't done that so far. I'm too shy (or too afraid to get on the bad side of the girl "zomg he wants more now I will start to think he will always hit on me for ethernity" ).

Re: Advice
 

It's not always about the money, girls just want to be friends on a different level..

My life is currently to busy to go anywhere on weekends :(

Re: Advice
 

Have a wank?

Stop trying to force these things, any relationship worthwhile with women will happen by itself, wait for the right one to come to you.

Re: Advice
 

I can confirm that, a scotch on the rocks each night before you go to sleep, and after a while its pretty much cured.

Partly right, Life is a cruel and horrible thing, but also the exact obesite.


A bootle of vodka is also good, I can recommend A Moscow Mule.

Jack's right, I have been a single now... for... geesh... half a year, and right now, I dont feel like getting a girlfriend, or atleast not do anything to get it. Now, before you starts being emo about being single, try it out, hell you might not get all the pussy, but King had an excellent suggestion to cure that ;). No, my point is that you should enjoy single life as it is, dont worry about girls, but if someone comes and obvious want to be you girlfriend, go for it. but dont be naive and think that just because the trust you, they love you.

:nodding:

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Finally you said so yourself! :p


Wouldn't you hit on her for ethernity then? :p

:lies: Girls love go through perfect shaped diamonds.

Re: Advice
 

Personally I disagree with this; I think you should have the balls to hunt, win your shyness, fear, whatever is stopping you remember that you are stronger since you created the problem and so you can also destroy it.

As for the original problem... Mmh, happened something similar to me too but I decided to not show them my emotions, hide them and decided to be friends (but our friendship was something really great, spending one week at her house without a moment of embarassment, we had no secrets and so on, that' s why I decide not to ruin my friendship so it really depends on how friend you are with them).

Re: Advice
 

I'm afraid that holding a person against there wishes and having sex with them for ethernity a is still not accepted by todays society. :p

Re: Advice
 

It's nothing to do with shyness or fear, you want a hot f*ck with a girl you're attracted to then go out one night and get one, you don't need a relationship for that.
It's just about what relationships are worthwhile and which aren't.

Re: Advice
 

I don't think you understand what King said, because I normally don't, but this time I agree with King.
Stop forcing yourself to find a girlfriend, those are the worst relationships.
Instead of King's 'wank', I read; Whore around, if you want the sex, this doesn't have to be in a relationship.
Just live your life and she'll come by one day, for the rest of the days, just whore around.

I love it, the freedom of being single and the occasional pleasure to fill in the lack of sex. There's still about 60years ahead of you where you can be in a serious relationship, and from what I've heard, married men do not like it very much.

Re: Advice
 

Another good adviser. MAking forums worth while.

Im still waiting for that worthwhile woman to happen !!!!!:mad:

As I agree you still have to go outside...unlike me....

Re: Advice
 

Yes, going outside is required, try it sometimes.

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wow dude you're screwed lol just pick one u think will be the best and listen to your heart.

Re: Advice
 

weird, i happen to be confronted with all the themes of all my band's songs all together in this one thread...
love, alcohol :D