Aviation Funnies

[Fuzzy Bunny]

http://www.nickscipio.com/funstuff/aviation.html

Good collection.

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: “Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.”

Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.”

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”

Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.”

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?”

Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark… and I didn’t land.”

[Frenkan]

Hahaha.

Good stuff indeed.

[wjlaslo]

LOL. You shouldn't talk to veterans like that controller did...

[snotvod]

How could he have known?

But his arrogant tone was indeed unnecessary

That list of problems and solutions was hilarious!

[Frenkan]

I liked this one (not in a Germany bashing way):

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): “Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
Ground (in English): “If you want an answer, you must speak in English.”
Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?”
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war.”

[jumjum]

Hmmmm, so that means British Airways let's 85-year-olds pilot their 747's?

[MrFancypants]

I like the one which goes more or less like (quoted from memory):
"flight xy you've got a Focker close to you, watch out",
"I always wanted to say this: I got that little Focker in sight"

[Strumtrupp]

Originally Posted by wjlaslo

LOL. You shouldn't talk to veterans like that controller did...

How the hell do you even know it happend that way?
The guy telling the story makes himself look cooler then he probably is is something unheard of.. jeez.

Originally Posted by wjlaslo

I liked this one (not in a Germany bashing way):

it makes fun of germans, yeah has nothing to do with bashing germans.

[Fuzzy Bunny]

Originally Posted by jumjum

Hmmmm, so that means British Airways let's 85-year-olds pilot their 747's?

747s were introduced in 1970.

1970 - 1944 = 26 years. Average age of RAF Bomber Command crews was something like 22, pilots probably in their mid- to late twenties. I believe 747 pilots are allowed to fly until 60 or 65, depending on the country.

[Andreas the Great]

True or false, it's still a funny story.