Aviation Funnies

[jumjum]

Originally Posted by FuzzyBunny

747s were introduced in 1970.

1970 - 1944 = 26 years. Average age of RAF Bomber Command crews was something like 22, pilots probably in their mid- to late twenties. I believe 747 pilots are allowed to fly until 60 or 65, depending on the country.

Hanging tough, I see. I like that. Let's look at the likelihood this is the real goods. To be genuine that anecdote must reflect events which necessarily occured not much less than 30 years ago, if any. It is a wonderful tale; a really excellent story with that pithy right stuff. But I daresay none of us here have ever heard it in the decades which have passed.

I love anecdotes, of which I have several collections including the Oxford. I am particularly partial to flying and military anecdotes, my favorite collection of which is, tiresomely perhaps, The Oxford Book Of Military Anecdotes. And I've never read it or heard it.

My point, as if you haven't been following the crumbs of bread I left in the forest, is that I just don't think something that good could have escaped my modest *blush* attention for at least 25 years. Of course the standard is not whether I am aware of something, God forbid. I'm just surprised I've never heard one that good. Perhaps it has only recently been set down and reflects incidents which happened to the teller long ago, but it has no internal reference to such fact. If it is a recent first telling of an old event it should be fairly easy to track down.

I suspect it's too good, alas, to be true, the bastardized result of a recent in vitro conception. I hope not. But people like to tell good stories, to the point they'll claim a truth to which they are not entitled, and this feels like the case here. If provenance can be established, I am happy to put my imprimatur on a tell well-told, and well-found, too, by one who doubtless would have been welcome in the most exclusive Parisian salons of the fin de siecle. If it's real, it should withstand a short Snopes-style investigation. If not, well, it's a good story anyway.

The gauntlet, sir, is cast. If a net search establishes its veracity and I am proven wrong, in just penance I'll never, ever mention the SS she-nazis in Return to Castle Wolfenstein.

[Toekar]

LOL... laughed my ass off... nice one uncle fuzzy

[Fuzzy Bunny]

Originally Posted by jumjum

The gauntlet, sir, is cast. If a net search establishes its veracity and I am proven wrong, in just penance I'll never, ever mention the SS she-nazis in Return to Castle Wolfenstein.

Why not? I like SS she-nazis, except for the nazi part (I don't like nazis very much), and as long as they're hot and slutty and wear tight black leather outfits and boots and spend their time in the barracks showing each other exciting lingerie in between carrying large guns and practicing teh whoopass.

I actually finished that game in cheat mode because it got boring after a while, and just watched the girlies do backflips and things around the room. Then I'd try to hit them with unlimited bazooka rounds as they were jumping off the ceiling. It's pretty cool when you hit one in mid-air.

Oh, and Nick Scipio (nickscipio.com) has a pretty funny thing called the picture of the day, linked from http://www.nickscipio.com/funstuff/index.html

It's just that he nas nekkid gurlz every now and then (but very tastefully selected ones, with witty, intellectually edifying comments for the moral fortitude of our nation's youth), which is why I'm not allowed to post the direct lin...oh..um. Bugger. So, because you're not allowed to go look at nekkid gurlz, here's a list of comments from employee reviews:

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
10. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
11. A gross ignoramus—144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
12. He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.
13. He’s been working with glue too much.
14. He would argue with a signpost.
15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
17. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.
18. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
19. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
20. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
21. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
22. He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
24. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
25. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
26. It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
27. One neuron short of a synapse.
28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
29. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead

[Admiral Donutz]

Originally Posted by MrFancypants

I like the one which goes more or less like (quoted from memory):
"flight xy you've got a Focker close to you, watch out",
"I always wanted to say this: I got that little Focker in sight"

It's spelled Fokker though. Too bad that Fokker is no more.

Fokker is a Dutch word (and lastname) and translates to breeder / stockbreeder.

I actually finished that game in cheat mode because it got boring after a while, and just watched the girlies do backflips and things around the room. Then I'd try to hit them with unlimited bazooka rounds as they were jumping off the ceiling. It's pretty cool when you hit one in mid-air.

I cheated to kill Himmler in the final level. After killing the beast I would quickly go into flymode (or whatever it was) move to outside the "arena" were an additional patch of ground was reserved for the ingame clossing scene. I would then lob a grenate at Himmlers feet and if you got the timing right Himmler would blow to pieces while he was talking. The ingame dialog would continue as if nothing had happend though.

[jumjum]

I actually finished that game in cheat mode because it got boring after a while, and just watched the girlies do backflips and things around the room. Then I'd try to hit them with unlimited bazooka rounds as they were jumping off the ceiling. It's pretty cool when you hit one in mid-air.

To FuzzyBunny: Nyah, nyah, nyah, nayh, nayaaaaah, nyaaaaaah! I didn't have to cheeeee---eeeaaat!

Donuts, I had no idea that was possible. But I won the square and honest way, and merely watched Himmler turn and walk away after I, I alone, killed the resurrected Heinrich.

You may both touch the hem of my garment, you weaklings...

[Fuzzy Bunny]

I use cheat mode to finish a lot of games that compensate for poor AI or bad storyline by just throwing more crap at you--I'm not a huge fan of grinding through senseless puzzles or twitchy arcade-y shoot-at-100-million-targets. I have better things to do than die-reload-die-reload when I just want to see the ending.

I found CoD and MoH excellent in that regard.

[FlyGuy45]

I liked mohaa, first FPS I bought, and played online.

[FatJoe]

Well.. MoH always starred the most beautyfull music.. which is the best thing to come out of the whole MoH series, in my opinion.

LOL @ the joke.. nice one Fuzzy

[cc.]

Originally Posted by FuzzyBunny

747s were introduced in 1970.

1970 - 1944 = 26 years. Average age of RAF Bomber Command crews was something like 22, pilots probably in their mid- to late twenties. I believe 747 pilots are allowed to fly until 60 or 65, depending on the country.

*bam*
I just got hit by a bring down.

Thanks Mr. Buzzkill.

[jumjum]

Originally Posted by FuzzyBunny

I use cheat mode to finish a lot of games that compensate for poor AI or bad storyline by just throwing more crap at you--I'm not a huge fan of grinding through senseless puzzles or twitchy arcade-y shoot-at-100-million-targets. I have better things to do than die-reload-die-reload when I just want to see the ending...

How dare you diminish my achievement? I feel demeaned, humiliated and marginalized. I need recompense.

Surely some deeply constitutional right of mine has been horribly, intentioanlly and remuneratively violated by one F. Bunny, and I need somebody to tell me what it is and exactly how my life has been ruined because of it. Anybody know the number for the ACLU? Or would Operation PUSH be better? Wait, Al Sharpton, that's the ticket! But if I get him will Al Dershowitz get on board? Heh, just wait till I get the Jesse Jackson Reactive Picketing Cadre marching outisde Fuzzy's ISP. Is Santiago in the mountains? Because if it is, we may need to opt for Jesse's Boycotting Alpini. We can stage out of the Juan Fernandez Islands if we can't get Greenpeace to schmooze us some Galapagos digs. "We shall overcode, we shall overcode, we shall overcode somewaaaaay"!