Twilight: New Moon

[Sl4sh]

Yes, that is right, I'm starting a thread on this film. Why? Well, after being forced to watch it by my girlfriend, and I just wanted to vent out my frustrations about this film and for everyone else to share their "experience" watching it.

This thread is going to have some spoilers, so if you plan to watch this film - which makes me wonder "the fuck why?" - I advise you to stop reading right now.

When I first saw the trailer before going out to watch it, I judged that the film was going be OK enough that I wouldn't have to gouge my eyes out after seeing Sex and the City with my girlfriend last time since there some action scenes. Boy was I fucking wrong. After watching it, I can honestly say that this is just utter shit! I honestly feel like going to a bar, drinking multiple shots of vodka until I kill enough brain cells to make me forget about the film. The plot is so stupid, so lacking, so unimaginative that it should have its own movie category - Just Shit. For example, Edward who happens to be a vampire at the age of 109, says on of the most retarded line I have ever heard in cinema:

"Leaving you was the hardest thing I've done in a hundred years"

Remember how he was 109? Well, what the fuck did he do when he was 9?! Jesus Christ, as soon as he said that I did a double face palm and let out a deep frustrating sigh to which I got shushed by other people - and by other people, I mean every single woman watching the film and my girlfriend, and not the guys who were probably dragged in to watch the film by their girlfriends. Also, this film keeps continuing on about Bella's and Edward's undying love for each other, that it just degrades into sappy lines when they get separated like:

"We can't be together!"
"Edward I love you, I'll be sad face!"
"I'm sad face because I love you and we can't be together!"
"I'm sad face because you love me and I love you and now we can't be together!"
...and this shit just drags on.

Then, as it seems, something finally interesting happens when Edwards fights some other vampires, but it turns into some retarded fight where they are just snarling at each other, and taking some pussy swipes. However, Edward starts losing and is on the verge of dying, so I'm like "FUCK YES", but then Bella being a uselss cunt that she is, comes out and starts being all faggoty by saying "Nooo, don't kill him, kill me instead!", meanwhile I'm thinking "Nooo, kill me! Spare me from this shit already!".

Anyway, so the films ends, all the characters fuck off the screen, and I'm sitting there on the verge of depression; meanwhile, all the girls in the theater room are all like "omgggg edward was soo hawt", "awww bella + edward sooo cutee", or "soooo romantic! i luv this film so muchh!" , which just made the overall experience even worse.

All in all, I just wrote only a taste of shittyness you will expect to see in this film, so If you plan on going to watch it, good luck.

[AlDaja]

You know, you had better have gotten laid for having to suffer though that sparkly sh't.

[eezstreet]

Originally Posted by AlDaja

You know, you had better have gotten laid for having to suffer though that sparkly sh't.

*puts Kyle Katarn's skin in a glow shader*
HEY GUYS LOOK I MADE EDWURD CULLUN!!!!


*shudder*

[Sadim-Al-Bouncer]

I refuse to post here due to the crappiness of that movie.

[eezstreet]

That's what the people call "An oxymoron"

[Warforger]

Girls think its awesome guys think its retarded. Maybe instead of posting here, you could go onto a Twlight forum and troll there.

EDIT: http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?t=237855 sounds very familiar......

Unless your Grabnutz too....

[AlDaja]

but we like it here.

[eezstreet]

I lawl'd
YouTube - Twilight Spoof with Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn - AOTS

[Sl4sh]

Originally Posted by Warforger

Girls think its awesome guys think its retarded. Maybe instead of posting here, you could go onto a Twlight forum and troll there.

EDIT: RelicNews Forums - Twilight New Moon reviewed sounds very familiar......

Unless your Grabnutz too....

Haha, I'll admit I did borrow some of his points, but only because they were simply too true and I thought the same exact thoughts as him.

[Dragonelf68]

My views on the twilight movie series are pretty much summed up in this .gif I made.