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Sl4sh November 30th, 2009 04:45 PM

Twilight: New Moon
 
Yes, that is right, I'm starting a thread on this film. Why? Well, after being forced to watch it by my girlfriend, and I just wanted to vent out my frustrations about this film and for everyone else to share their "experience" watching it.

This thread is going to have some spoilers, so if you plan to watch this film - which makes me wonder "the fuck why?" - I advise you to stop reading right now.

When I first saw the trailer before going out to watch it, I judged that the film was going be OK enough that I wouldn't have to gouge my eyes out after seeing Sex and the City with my girlfriend last time since there some action scenes. Boy was I fucking wrong. After watching it, I can honestly say that this is just utter shit! I honestly feel like going to a bar, drinking multiple shots of vodka until I kill enough brain cells to make me forget about the film. The plot is so stupid, so lacking, so unimaginative that it should have its own movie category - Just Shit. For example, Edward who happens to be a vampire at the age of 109, says on of the most retarded line I have ever heard in cinema:

"Leaving you was the hardest thing I've done in a hundred years"

Remember how he was 109? Well, what the fuck did he do when he was 9?! Jesus Christ, as soon as he said that I did a double face palm and let out a deep frustrating sigh to which I got shushed by other people - and by other people, I mean every single woman watching the film and my girlfriend, and not the guys who were probably dragged in to watch the film by their girlfriends. Also, this film keeps continuing on about Bella's and Edward's undying love for each other, that it just degrades into sappy lines when they get separated like:

"We can't be together!"
"Edward I love you, I'll be sad face!"
"I'm sad face because I love you and we can't be together!"
"I'm sad face because you love me and I love you and now we can't be together!"
...and this shit just drags on.

Then, as it seems, something finally interesting happens when Edwards fights some other vampires, but it turns into some retarded fight where they are just snarling at each other, and taking some pussy swipes. However, Edward starts losing and is on the verge of dying, so I'm like "FUCK YES", but then Bella being a uselss cunt that she is, comes out and starts being all faggoty by saying "Nooo, don't kill him, kill me instead!", meanwhile I'm thinking "Nooo, kill me! Spare me from this shit already!".

Anyway, so the films ends, all the characters fuck off the screen, and I'm sitting there on the verge of depression; meanwhile, all the girls in the theater room are all like "omgggg edward was soo hawt", "awww bella + edward sooo cutee", or "soooo romantic! i luv this film so muchh!" , which just made the overall experience even worse.

All in all, I just wrote only a taste of shittyness you will expect to see in this film, so If you plan on going to watch it, good luck.

AlDaja November 30th, 2009 04:50 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
You know, you had better have gotten laid for having to suffer though that sparkly sh't.

eezstreet November 30th, 2009 04:56 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AlDaja (Post 5154923)
You know, you had better have gotten laid for having to suffer though that sparkly sh't.

*puts Kyle Katarn's skin in a glow shader*
HEY GUYS LOOK I MADE EDWURD CULLUN!!!!


*shudder*

Sadim-Al-Bouncer November 30th, 2009 05:39 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
I refuse to post here due to the crappiness of that movie.

eezstreet November 30th, 2009 05:41 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
That's what the people call "An oxymoron"

Warforger November 30th, 2009 06:21 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Girls think its awesome guys think its retarded. Maybe instead of posting here, you could go onto a Twlight forum and troll there.

EDIT: http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?t=237855 sounds very familiar......

Unless your Grabnutz too....

AlDaja November 30th, 2009 06:30 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
but we like it here.:smokin:

eezstreet November 30th, 2009 06:35 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
I lawl'd
YouTube - Twilight Spoof with Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn - AOTS

Sl4sh November 30th, 2009 06:38 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Warforger (Post 5155048)
Girls think its awesome guys think its retarded. Maybe instead of posting here, you could go onto a Twlight forum and troll there.

EDIT: RelicNews Forums - Twilight New Moon reviewed sounds very familiar......

Unless your Grabnutz too....

Haha, I'll admit I did borrow some of his points, but only because they were simply too true and I thought the same exact thoughts as him.

Dragonelf68 November 30th, 2009 07:24 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
My views on the twilight movie series are pretty much summed up in this .gif I made.

http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/1...ppearsbase.gif

AlDaja November 30th, 2009 07:27 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Keep Blade for dramatic back up, but I'm pretty sure Van Helsing can take these guys.

Dragonelf68 November 30th, 2009 07:30 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Good point, but blade uses a sword which makes it gorier, cooler, and more satisfing.

AlDaja November 30th, 2009 07:31 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonelf68 (Post 5155119)
Good point, but blade uses a sword which makes it gorier, cooler, and more satisfing.

True, true. But Blade is a good look'n fellow...they may try to rape him and bedazzel him.

Dragonelf68 November 30th, 2009 07:33 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Hmm... Good point. In the end, if blade fails, just the nuke the goddamn area around them.

AlDaja November 30th, 2009 07:35 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Probably best.

http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/l.../whatwesee.png

I say we send the ultimate weapon of destruction:

http://derekclontz.files.wordpress.c...untitled-1.jpg

Dragonelf68 November 30th, 2009 07:37 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
:rofl: I was going to give you rep for that but I have to spread some around.

Re4_wesker November 30th, 2009 08:14 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
After hearing book talks last year in school on all four books i'd like to introduce a zombie apocalypse on the world of twilight.

Schofield November 30th, 2009 08:19 PM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Re4_wesker (Post 5155162)
After hearing book talks last year in school on all four books i'd like to introduce a zombie apocalypse on the world of twilight.

I havn't heard a book talk since we left grade 9. YOU FAIL! But I do hear people talk about this book in school, next person to speak about it, I'll personally rip their spine out and whip them with it. Then I'll shove a fork into their eye.

probafix January 6th, 2010 02:28 AM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Twilight is the Coolest... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Primarch Vulkan January 6th, 2010 03:02 AM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
look at me I took a good genre vampires and made them sparkly fags...look my skin sparkles in the sun I'm super fine!

Emo Vampires=fail...

peteraxis April 22nd, 2010 12:20 AM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
http://img.moronail.net/img/6/3/2363.jpg

also, i have learned to never have a girlfriend who is a fan of twifuckinglight. must always check facebook info page first before courting a girl! it was torture watching both films. grrrrr

Flash525 April 22nd, 2010 10:20 AM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
I'll admit when I first heard of the storyline, and the romantic aspect of the film, I wasn't too keen, but the special effects and general story aren't all that bad when it comes down to it. I was actually quite impressed, and enjoyed both films.

Although they do seem to move very slow (especially at the start), when they do pick up, its quite worthwhile waiting. :)

dark_stealth May 4th, 2010 06:32 AM

Re: Twilight: New Moon
 
Oh god, that looks *Fudging* horrible, I salute anyone who has endured the whole thing.


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